If you are ready …. here are another 8 ways we create pain through misperception. These types of distorted thought patterns lead us to feeling miserable about ourselves, others and, very often, our lives. Busting these can only lead to more happiness!
8. Fallacy of Fairness : You think you know what is fair and just and feel resentful because others won’t agree with you.
9. Blaming : (the good old – or should I say bad old – blame game…) You hold other people responsible for your pain – or on the other hand, blame yourself for every problem that you experience.
10. Shoulds : One of my favourites, or shall I say un-favourites! You know exactly how you and everyone else should act. People who break the rules anger you and you feel guilty if you violate them.
11. Emotional Reasoning : You automatically believe what you feel. ie if you feel stupid and boring then you must be stupid and boring.
12. Fallacy of Change : You expect others will change to suit you if you pressure or cajole them enough. And you must change them because all your hopes for happiness depend on them and how they act or treat you.
13. Global Labeling : You generalise one or two qualities of someone else or something else into a total negative global judgment.
14. Being Right : You feel continually on trial to prove your opinions and actions correct. Being wrong is unthinkable and you will do anything to demonstrate your rightness.
15. Heavens Reward Fallacy : You expect all your sacrifice and self-denial to pay off, as if someone was keeping score. This leaves your feeling bitter when the reward doesn’t come.
Awful (or familiar) as these sound, they are all ways we have learned to understand our world. They have worked to a greater or lesser extent up until now. Once we start to recognise that they are distortions and not truth and decide to change the way we think we start to create more emotional resilience and happiness in our life.
Take the time to look honestly at how you interact in the world and you may find the opportunity to transform a distortion or two into a more clear perception of reality.
(And, again, if you want any help breaking those less than useful ways of thinking I can help! Feel free to give me a ring 0418 795 135.)
All the best, Gay
This article was written by Gay Landeta with the intention of helping you to Create the Life you Want to Live! All rights reserved 2014.