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Change Your Life And Create The Life You Want To Live

7 ways we create pain in our life, part 1

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(c)gay landeta.com.auGay Landeta

Our perception is a very large part of our experience in the world and arguably all of our emotional experience. Thoughts that distort reality distort our perception and  destroy our equilibrium. Change the way you think by identifying and changing the following distorted thought patterns:

1. Filtering : you take the negative details and magnify them all the while you filter out any positive aspects of the situation.

2. Polarised thinking : Everything is black or white or good or bad. There is only perfection or failure and no such thing as a middle ground. This leads to endless pain and suffering.

3. Overgeneralisation : you come to a general conclusion based on a single incident or piece of evidence. If something bad happens you expect it to happen over and over again. Using statements like : “you always…” or “I always ….” are dead giveaways we are caught in this one.

4. Mind Reading : without anyone telling you, you understand how people are feeling and why they act the way they do toward you, in particular you are able to divine how people are feeling toward you. Really, if you are that psychic you should make a living out of it!!! 🙂

5. Catastrophising : you expect disaster. When you notice or hear about a problem you immediately start the ‘what if’s’ :  What if tragedy strikes? What if it happens to me? instead of realising the true likelihood of it.

6. Personalisation : you believe that everything that people do or say is some kind of reaction to you. You take everything personally. You probably also compare yourself to others, trying to determine who’s smarter, better looking, etc. And there is always someone better! Not so good for the self-esteem!

7. Control fallacies : if you feel like you are being controlled by outside forces, other people or the situation you are in you will often see yourself as helpless, a victim of fate and that you have no power and cannot take action. If you are running the fallacy of internal control, that you must be in control of everything, then you will feel responsible for everyone around you.

Painful aren’t they? Look out for the next few soon! In the meantime practice recognising your particular distorted lens and do your best to step out of it.

(And, by the way, if you want any help breaking these less than useful ways of thinking I can help! Feel free to give me a ring 0418 795 135.)

All the best, Gay

This article was written by Gay Landeta with the intention of helping you to Create the Life you Want to Live! All rights reserved 2014.

 

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