June 2022 – This article and exercise on values, which i first published in 2009, is so relevant that I am updating and republishing it now. 

Values may be something you have visited in your workplace, either in your own business or on team building days – but have you considered how important they are in your private life? They are the core of who you are, how you respond to the world and the decisions you make.

Working with your values can help you to understand yourself, your motivations and can help you make decisions more easily.

Use the values exercise to help you to dig into what might be unknowingly contributing to your stress levels.


Values are the notions, morals and concepts that influence our choices and help us to determine our behaviour and actions. Shaped by our belief systems and originating through a myriad of influences including our families, our culture and our experiences, they are a very personal expression of who we are.

They are also quite subjective and change throughout our lifetime.

They remain hidden in the subconscious for most of us and for some are a primary source of stress. How so? Because values dictate our responses to our world. For example, consider the situation of a client of mine. She was becoming more and more irritable with her friends and family. She felt they were being untruthful, this judgment was creating an enormous amount of pressure in her life and she was afraid the resulting stress was messing up many parts of her life.

As she worked out her values she recognised that her number one value was truth. At first this justified her anger until she had the realisation that her truth was not everyone else’s truth.

At that moment she was able to let go of her judgment and see that everyone was being true to their ownselves. This letting go of justice for ‘just is’ meant she could just let go into her life and enjoy it.

Doing a values exercise is simple.


Relax and connect with yourself, often a few deep exhales will do the trick. When you feel centred start to brainstorm all the values that influence your life. You may be able to pull these out of your subconscious or you may like to use this list as a starting point.

freedom                purpose                  accomplishment

connectedness        philosophy              accountability

security                generosity              beauty

discipline              friendship              happiness

fairness                community               calm

adventure               family                  loyalty

equality                charity                 goodness

self reliance           orderliness             simplicity

meaning                 pleasure                integrity

unity                   justice                 harmony

truth                   spirituality            self-improvement

serenity                wisdom                  wealth

hard work               creativity              joy …

1. Choose 10 that ring true for you and then cut it down to your top 5. 

2. Once you have your top 5 values delete 2.

3. You now know the 3 most important values in your life at this time.

Next, consider how these influence your life – both positively and negatively ….


  • Do any of these impact negatively or cause you stress?
  • Do any need any adjustments?
  • Which one is your number one value?
  • How does that affect your day to day life?
  • How can you live in more alignment with these values? 
  • When are you out of alignment with them and what can you do about that?

Once you know the answers to these questions you can use them more pro-actively in your life.

You can use them to help you make decisions and to prioritise the important things.

You can use them to help you to Create the Life you want to Live! 😉


******** This was written with the intention of helping you to live your best life, I would love to hear your thoughts on this, And if you think someone else would enjoy it please feel free to share it around. And check out my free stuff on my membership site here! *********

********* if you want to know more about how I can help you Create The Life You Want To Live please do get in touch! ********

Copyright 2009 – 2022 Gay Landeta, Create The Life You Want To Live. All rights reserved.