May 15th, 2012

lots of great responses from my eZine article last month…….. hope you enjoy it!

Gay

These 7 patterns can absolutely stop us in our tracks.

The first step is to identify what is stopping you, then next to break the pattern.

The first and the one that can keep us on the brink of our next step (sometimes for years) is called the Dweller on the Threshold’ This is all about being stuck. When we are in this pattern we become caught in beliefs like: ‘Something or someone is preventing me from moving forward’ or ‘Nothing feels possible’. When we are stuck we are in the way of our own self, our little personality is stopping the True Self from stepping forward.

To move out of this position we have to commit to the bigger plan of our life. It is time to stop being small and start trusting in our True Self and the journey we are on.
The next pattern is Illusion. In this pattern we are cheating ourself and are caught in the illusion of reality instead of seeing reality. We are fooling ourself, taking action without really knowing what we are doing, following blindly and judging instead of using our powers of discernment. We become identified with an idea, an opinion and information instead of being clear about what we want, being honest about where we are and making a choice based on truth.
In Uncertainty fear becomes our controller. Instead we need to step up and take responsibility and dare to see. We must develop the courage to use our inner senses and break old patterns such as fight or flight and a lack of decision and action.
The pattern of Inertia is apparent when we are hiding from our self, becoming too busy or procrastinating. The route out of this pattern is to simply see the essentials and act accordingly. We can choose to do it with pain (moaning and groaning) or with goodwill – my suggestion is to use the goodwill track! Feels much easier.
The next pattern is Blindness. When we are caught in this trap Read the rest of this entry »

If your to-do list goes on for pages or is impossible to manage you may be coping with a ‘lifetrap’ of ‘unrelenting standards’. Lifetraps are ways we, as children, learn to cope with the interactions around us. They were necessary then but can become very limiting as we grow. There are 18 of them all together (see below for more info) but the that one might be a cause of that un-ending To Do list is ‘Unrelenting Standards’.

The trouble is with this life trap running we actually can’t see that what we expect is a little over the top. Or a lot!

January 26th, 2013

This tale has been retold many, many times like any good folktale.
Here are a couple of versions….

A man named Sei Weng owned a beautiful mare which was praised far and wide. One day this beautiful horse disappeared. The people of his village offered sympathy to Sei Weng for his great misfortune. Sei Weng said simply, “That’s the way it is.”

A few days later the lost mare returned, followed by a beautiful wild stallion. The village congratulated Sei Weng for his good fortune. He said, “That’s the way it is.”

Some time later, Sei Weng’s only son, while riding the stallion, fell off and broke his leg. The village people once again expressed their sympathy at Sei Weng’s misfortune. Sei Weng again said, “That’s the way it is.”

Soon thereafter, war broke out and all the young men of the village except Sei Weng’s lame son were drafted and were killed in battle. The village people were amazed as Sei Weng’s good luck. His son was the only young man left alive in the village. But Sei Weng kept his same attitude: despite all the turmoil, gains and losses, he gave the same reply, “That’s the way it is.”

Chin-Ning Chu, in “The Asian Mind Game: unlocking the hidden agenda of the Asian business culture — a westerner’s survival manual,” New York:Macmillan Publishing Company(1991)

and another

A man who lived on the northern frontier of China was skilled in interpreting events. One day, for no reason, his horse ran away to the nomads across the border. Everyone tried to console him, but his father said, “What makes you so sure this isn’t a blessing?”

Some months later his horse returned, bringing a splendid nomad stallion. Everyone congratulated him, but his father said, “What makes you so sure this isn’t a disaster?”

Their household was richer by a fine horse, which his son loved to ride. One day he fell and broke his hip. Everyone tried to console him, but his father said, “What makes you so sure this isn’t a blessing?”

A year later the nomads came in force across the border, and every able-bodied man took his bow and went into battle. The Chinese frontiersmen lost nine of every ten men. Only because the son was lame did the father and son survive to take care of each other.

Truly, blessing turns to disaster, and disaster to blessing: the changes have no end, nor can the mystery be fathomed.

The Lost Horse, Chinese Folktale.
As told by Ellen J. Langer, in” The Power of Mindful Learning,” Reading, Mass: Addison-Wesley (1997).

This article was written by Gay Landeta with the intention of helping you to Create the Life you Want to Live! All rights reserved 2011.

January 14th, 2012

I have a confession to make. I have been suffering from inertia for a few weeks now.

I thought it was just end of year tiredness or boredom or something but I have to accept it is just old fashioned inertia. Can’t be stuffed. All I feel like doing is sleeping! True, I have had early mornings with puppy plus puppy responsibility on top of work so rest is welcome but I do have a couple of things that must get done and they haven’t been. Sleep keeps claiming me!

Don’t get me wrong, sleeping is great and with our super busy life often taking time out, doing nothing and just chilling is not only essential to our physical health but to our emotional and spiritual as well. But sometimes slowing down grinds us to a halt and our resistance to move seems insurmountable. Inertia takes over.

Inertia is not useful and is considered to be one of the 7 blocks on our spiritual path. It is a way we hide from our trueself. Being able to see what needs to happen – not what should, nor what we want but what NEEDS to happen  – and then taking action is fundamental to our growth.

But sometimes shifting forward feels almost impossible. Here are my top tips in identifying and overcoming the dreaded inertia. Work towards answering yes to each before proceeding to the next step. Read the rest of this entry »

This booster is used in yoga and many traditions to calm and relax the system.

First stop, place one hand on your chest and the other on your tummy. Just notice how you are breathing. Which parts of ribs are moving? No judgements here, just notice. Are you breathing into your tummy or are your shoulders going up and down?

Relax and focus on the hand on your tummy. Breath in and imagine that you have a balloon in your tummy that you are gently filling with air. Exhale quietly and completely and then allow the breath to enter again filling the balloon with air.

You can lie down and put a pile of books on your tummy to help focus your breath but remember you are not using your muscles to move the books, you are simply using your in breath.

Go back and how you are feeling, how is it different? By noticing we start the process of positive change.

Enjoy and have a great month!

Gay

This article was written by Gay Landeta with the intention of helping you to Create the Life you Want to Live! All rights reserved 2011.

Many people mistakenly think meditation is about stopping thoughts.

Trying to stop thoughts is a little like trying to stop breathing. It is the brains job to think and think it does. If you watch it  and see it for what it is, a stream of consciousness, it becomes apparent how it just rabbits on, hopping from idea to idea….  Write the booster… oh it’s raining… What will I have for lunch… do I have to go out … Green trees and grass… Heaters nice…. Miss having a dog… etc

Seeing the gap between the thoughts , words and ideas is a lovely way to see through the minds busyness and find the peace behind.

Focus your attention on the gaps between the thoughts, the pauses in the concepts, the empty blue black space between and behind the images.

When I do this I find time slows, peace descends and I am less attached to outcomes.

Practiced often it becomes a wonderful tool in times of stress.

Start by doing it for a few seconds at a time and build it up. You may like to make this a regular time of meditation or just find space during the day. However you do it I trust you will find a greater sense of spaciousness in your life.

Enjoy it and have a great month!
Gay

This article was written by Gay Landeta with the intention of helping you to Create the Life you Want to Live! All rights reserved 2011.

October 5th, 2011

I have been musing today on how we can be so attached to often quite inconsequential ups and downs, especially when we are feeling a little vulnerable. And, let us be honest, even if they are incredibly impacting, dwelling on them and allowing them to take us for a ride is not usually very helpful at all.

Usually I can take a bit of emotional rough and tumble fairly well these days. I can see it for what it is, a momentary ruffling of the waves of the mind, but diving down deep it is still the same calm, still space.

But sometimes, on days that I am a little more agitated or the waves are in a little bit of a sensitive area, it is a little less easy. Those days really suck!

Years ago I had a solid daily meditation practice. It help a lot with having two wild boys and a business to run at home. something happened though and it fell through the cracks. I decided to become more mindful each day. Live my practice instead of keeping it in one place.

That was great, and I had lots of other tools with Brain Gym and kinesiology… but I think I really need both to stay sane these days! So I am working on creating a new daily practice. Every morning.

I reckon recreating a practice is more difficult than creating one in the first place. But I know the rewards so I will do my best to stick to it.

By Christmas it should be a regular feature in my life once again, and I will be doing a bit more duck diving those big waves! I hope.

Here’s to duck diving the emotional sea!

Cheers, Gay

This is a goodie when you are just wanting a quick ground and centering.

Start by putting two fingers of one hand under your nose – just where your moustache would be and two fingers of the other hand where your tail would be. Hold these points for a few deep breaths, exhaling fully. Swap hands if you like.

Then put two fingers of one hand under your lips in the crevice above your chin and two fingers of the other hand on your belly button. Again hold for a few nice deep relaxing breaths. If you swapped before continue to swap hands in this step and the next.

Finally place the palm of one hand on your  tail bone and the other palm on your belly button. Breath a few more brreaths and relax fully.

By taking the time to re-centre like this your energy has a chance to re-find its flow and you will too.
Enjoy and have a great month!
Gay

This booster is inspired by Pranayama (Yogic breathing). I often use this one, I find it a lovely way to reconnect to my inner rhythm.

First stop and notice how you are breathing. Which parts of your lungs are you using? No judgements here, just notice. Are you breathing deeply or shallowly? Are you accessing the 4 parts of your lungs, the belly, the ribs, the back and the top? Which is longer, your in or out breath? Are you holding your breath at any stage or breathing easily. Just notice.

Relax and focus on your breath. Breath in through your nose to the count of 4. Hold for the count of 4, breath out for the count of 4 and hold for the count of 4. Repeat 4 times.

Go back and notice your breathing and how you are feeling, how is it different? By noticing we start the process of positive change.

Enjoy and have a great month!
Gay

Heart Meditation

You may have heard or done the Metta Meditation of Loving Kindness. There are many variations but the basis of it is;

‘Starting with yourself, you feel and recognize that you too suffer and sincerely wish for yourself health, peace and loving kindness. You then choose someone close to you and do the same. Move onto a stranger, but one you see often. Recognise that they too suffer and would prefer to be happy. Send them health, peace and loving kindness. Next move onto someone who is more difficult (that one can be hard but feels beautiful when it is accomplished). Finally send the loving energy to all those individuals equally (as they symbolise our day to day contacts) and then out to the universe as a whole.’

This can be done on a day to day basis by looking at those people we meet and recognizing that they too are having the human experience and want the same joy we seek. Quietly saying to yourself ‘just like me’ as you breathe out can help the heart to open and the mind to quiet. And how beautiful to be passing such loving thoughts around quietly as we sit on the bus!