Change is something we talk a lot about, especially in this uncertain world.
Sometimes we are afraid of upcoming change, other times we start actively seeking it. And sometimes change is instigated by someone we love or someone with power (like a boss) requesting us to change. Regardless of where the change has been initiated, understanding the process of change helps us to feel empowered in our life.
Firstly we must change our actions, what we are actually doing. If we continue to do the same thing nothing will change. The more we choose to change the quicker the change will be. For example, if I want to lose weight I better not buy that inviting croissant in the coffee shop!
Secondly we must change how we are thinking and feeling about the change. For each action we change we must explore the accompanying feelings and thoughts and take action to ensure they are in alignment with our new actions. To continue my example, if I decide not to buy that croissant and instead buy an apple I must think about how yummy it is and how good it makes me feel.
And finally we must sit with the unwanted feelings and thoughts that will come up when we do make a change. If that croissant was emotional eating the feelings that I was trying to cover up will bubble through if I get an apple instead and I will need to deal with them. Even if it was just desire I might start to obsess about it and have to deal with those thoughts!
If we don’t cover all three of these actions then we won’t change and things might well get worse.
What if we can only do one or two of the three? Then we will look like we are changing but we are not. Might be useful if the boss wants us to change something that we know will make things harder (!!), but not much good elsewhere.
For example if I eat a croissant everyday my clothes will likely stop fitting. If I don’t change my thoughts to include a change of perspective I will not enjoy my alternate choice and will eventually go back to a less healthy choice.
If I do not learn to sit and deal with the uncomfortable emotions and thoughts that changing my actions instigated I will just substitute something else that will very likely be even less good for me.
How fast we can change our actions and our thoughts and feelings will dictate how fast we can action change our life.
So next time you decide to change something have a plan to do so. Decide how you will change your actions, what new thoughts you will need to cultivate and most importantly how you will deal with any uncomfortable thoughts or feelings that emerge.
Good luck!
BTW, If you want any help creating change in your life I can help! Feel free to give me a ring 0418 795 135.
All the best, Gay
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