April 20th, 2010

I am back from holidays and, as usual, there is so much admin catch-up to do while feeling just a tad lagged and distracted. I put into place a timed process that is a great way to stay focused and get stuff done for when a limited attention span is an issue. It helps to engage the thinking processes so paying attention happens naturally. I thought I would share it….

Start by listing the jobs to be done, eg today mine look like:

catch up pile
finalise BAS
sort out spare room stuff
clear emails
finalise client records
blog

then add 10 / 20 / 30 after each one. It will now look like:

catch up pile 10 / 20 / 30
finalise BAS 10 / 20 / 30
sort out spare room stuff 10 / 20 / 30
clear emails 10 / 20 / 30
finalise client records 10 / 20 / 30
blog 10 / 20 / 30

Now just do each item in order for 10 minutes, then back to the top of the list to do each item for 20 minutes, then back again to the top of the list to do each item for 30 minutes. Cross off each time code as you get to them ie my list looks like this right now:

catch up pile 10 / 20 / 30
finalise BAS 10 / 20 / 30
sort out spare room stuff 10 / 20 / 30
clear emails 10 / 20 / 30
finalise client records 10 / 20 / 30
blog 10 / 20 / 30

And, if you get an item done before the time is up then you can just cross off the whole item and move on!

This is a great way to work through an overwhelming list… I think this months ezine will be on this and other ways to handle overwhelm. If you are not yet signed up go to http://gaylandeta.com.au/sign-up/ to do so.

Here’s to getting stuff done!

Gay

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February 6th, 2010

I have a confession to make, I haven’t been following what I know. It is so irritating when you get that – ‘yup, i shoulda…’ feeling!

The dreaded black hole of time sucked me in. You know the one, way to much to do, technology issues to deal with and just STUFF!

In the end with my unexpected but wonderful move to my own premises last year and all that entailed I have not been following my own marketing advice. Outcome? An unreliable number of people for my next Marketing with Heart workshop =(

Oh well, just another example to me of how powerful – and essential – the program is!

Last session I discussed this with my current group and committed to take myself through the program again. I do it most years and often double whatever area I focus on ….. so I am excited to start! Without it I could not do the work I love with my clients!

Don’t dja love those reminders from the Team?

See yah,

Gay

December 24th, 2009

This email came from my Action Plan Coach Colleague and friend Geoff Kelly, I think it sets a perfect note at this time of year when we are reflecting on the past and beginning to be ready for the new and thought you might enjoy it!

I wish you a wonderful and refreshing holiday break and an joyous and abundant New Year!

Warmest regards,

Gay

With Gratitude and Best Wishes…

About 10 years ago I heard some words that changed my life from Canadian achievement scholar and expert Bob Proctor:

“When you set goals, don’t worry so much that you’ll need to live up to them. Focus on setting goals that are worthy of you. Make them goals you would give your life for…because whatever you are doing now, you are expending your life on it.”

I find it helpful to collect and reflect on the wisdom of people who have achieved much in life. I’ve attached a brief selection of these on the next few pages, as you might enjoy reflecting on them too as you prepare for next year. These are people and words that have changed lives and changed history. If we reflect and act on their wisdom, we can expect no less of ourselves. I hope you and your family have a safe and happy Christmas and New Year, and that you make 2010 your most fabulous year yet. I’ll look forward to sharing that journey.
Best wishes
Geoff Kelly

“If you want to know your past – look into your present conditions. If you want to know your future – look into
your present actions.”
Chinese Proverb

“Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world.”
Albert Einstein, 1879-1955, Physicist

“Treat people as if they were what they ought to be, and you help them to become what they are capable of
being.”
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe 1749-1832, German Poet and Novelist

“You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.”
Martin Luther King, Jr., 1929-1968, Civil Rights Leader

“You are what you repeatedly do. Excellence is not an event – it is a habit.”
Aristotle, 384-322 BC, Greek Philosopher and Scientist

“Let us become the change we seek in this world.”
Mohandas Gandhi

“What the mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve.”
Napoleon Hill, Author of Think and Grow Rich

“The first step to becoming is to will it.”
Mother Teresa

“Start by doing what’s necessary, then what’s possible, and suddenly you are doing the impossible.”
St. Francis of Assisi 1181-1226, Founder of the Franciscan Order

“Concentrate all your thoughts upon the work at hand. The sun’s rays do not burn until brought to a focus.”
Alexander Graham Bell, 1847-1922, Inventor

“It is no use saying, “We are doing our best.” You have got to succeed in doing what is necessary.”
Winston Churchill, British statesman

“The most difficult thing is the decision to act; the rest is merely tenacity. The fears are paper tigers. You can do
anything you decide to do.”
Amelia Earhart, Aviator

“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never
forget how you made them feel.”
Maya Angelou, Poet

“We must have perseverance and above all confidence in ourselves. We must believe that we are gifted for
something and that this thing must be attained.”
Marie Curie, Physicist

“The most powerful weapon on earth is the human soul on fire.”
Ferdinand Foch, Military strategist

Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to
lose. You are naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.”
Steve Jobs, CEO Apple Computers

What I will do to make 2010 my best year ever:
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And if you want to subscribe to his newsletter, Leading Minds, the online newsletter for leaders who want others to support their ideas simply go to http://www.kellystrategicinfluence.com.au and enter your name and email address in the subscription box.

November 15th, 2009

This month has been hectic… mid November already! Lots of great changes are in the air – keep posted for details!

Here is my ezine article – on the victim, rescuer and persecutor triangle, a biggie this time of year!

If you want to receive my monthly ezine articles each and every month together with special offers (this months special offer for subscribers was a zero cost essence consult) and a monthly booster to keep you on track sign up at http://gaylandeta.com.au/sign-up

Enjoy!

Gay

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TRYING TOO HARD TO FIX THINGS? WANT TO STOP BEING A VICTIM? … READ ON

by Gay Landeta

Imagine a triangle. In one corner lies our hero, the rescuer, ready to fix everything, to do battle to save the world.

In another corner lies a victim, someone who is having a seriously bad time. Poor little one, we feel such pity for them.

And in the final corner we see the cause of the pain, the persecutor. How dare s/he!

Watch closely what happens as they spring into action –

The rescuer leaps from the top of the triangle into the persecutors lair ready to sort out this issue.

Yeah, we shout… pleased that, at last, the cause of the problem will be dealt with.

That is until we see that perhaps the persecutor is not actually as bad as we thought, in fact s/he seems to be becoming a victim of the fixer’s righteous anger. As the fixer takes on the cloak of the persecutor, the persecutor dons the robes of the victim and shuffles over into the victim’s corner.

As the ex-persecutor shuffles into the victim’s corner, the victim sees the situation and becomes outraged at the ex-fixers behaviour. S/he finds the strength to defend this poor victim, the ex-persecutor, and then bounds into the rescuer’s corner.

At this, our ex-rescuer – now residing in the perpetrators corner – calms down and remembers s/he is meant to be the one to fix everything. S/he dumps the persecutors cloak and jumps back into the rescuers corner which irritates and angers our ex-victim.

Our ex-victim now leaps into the vacant persecutors corner, furious about …..

And on they play, jumping from corner to corner of the triangle at the whim of their reaction to their perceptions, perceptions that are shifting and changing every moment.

So … a question … how many of us spend endless hours reacting as the victim, the rescuer or the persecutor instead of responding to a situation without playing in those roles?

For many of us this triangle, sometimes called the drama triangle for obvious reasons, directs the course of our relationships and life.

Certainly our myths are full of the triangle in action and don’t many of us secretly wish we were a super-hero, I always wanted to be Batman myself!

Trouble is, this triangle can truly create a nightmare in our life. Constantly trying to fix everything, feeling trapped and angry about circumstances and ready to do battle at any given moment are signs that you are stuck in the trap.

So if we recognise that we are caught in this nightmare what can we do?

Firstly stop and acknowledge it. Naming it is very powerful. Not what the other is doing but our own role in perpetuating the triangle. Recognising that we are playing the victim, the persecutor or the fixer – or more likely jumping between all three roles, is the first step.

So, just name it. Stay away from blaming your fellow triangle members - you don’t want the persecutors spot, nor do you want to start feeling guilty about it all, otherwise the victim corner will open to embrace you.

Next give yourself space before reacting. You cannot fix this. That compelling feeling is part of the role of the rescuer. A very comfortable place for many of us but ultimately, once we are the rescuer, we become doomed also to take on the roles of the victim and the persecutor.

Be also aware of the attraction of being the victim. We often enjoy this spot. It can feel very nice to have all those rescuers offering to save us. But it is a very tiring role. And ultimately, if we continue to reside in victimhood, we abdicate our personal responsibly and end up waiting for someone to rescue us and make us happy. We also often end up living out a life immersed in bitterness and resentment for the lousy hand we have been dealt.

Recognising you have power in your life is essential. You can choose whatever you like. You only need to take the consequences of your choices.

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This Month’s Resolve : to accept responsibility for my life and my choices and take action!

October 12th, 2009

During September I spent 4 days exploring and balancing early developmental movement patterns with Carol Ann Erikson, a Brain Gym movement expert from the states. As a coach of high level athletes (including those of Olympic standards) she has explored movement intimately and through working with her other love – kids of all ages including those with profound difficulties – she has seen firsthand the impact that exploring and developing physical skills has on the ability to learn.

When musing on my monthly ezine, re-engineered from conception as I was through her program and wondering what to write the answer was obvious… so I resurrected an article I wrote several years ago when I first discovered the link with early movement and learning. I hope you enjoy it.

Movement is fundamental to easy learning, joy in living and fun!

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MOVE AND GROW

by Gay Landeta

For many years the link between movement and learning was not widely recognised. However as we have become a more and more sedentary people, academic and experiential research have linked these two; with the Primitive Reflexes and early developmental movements being recognised as especially important.

What are Primitive Reflexes?

These are our earliest survival reflexes and emerge either in utero or in early infant-hood. They should be fully integrated by about a year to make room for the postural reflexes, the ones that help us to stand upright.

Our ability to move, our perception of the world, our language and how we make sense of the world is built upon the emergence and subsequent integration of these early reflexes. Only after the successful integration of these, can higher functioning, for example, relationships and academic learning, become natural and stress free.

Unintegrated Reflexes can cause havoc, consider the following situation:

James was age 14 and in grade 10. He presented for his appointment defiant and unsure. James was having difficulties at school, he had been bullied when younger but now seemed to be the one bullying.

He had a troublemaker tag and was often caught in the middle of a fight. In the middle of our consultation a door suddenly slammed. James leapt backwards, arms out stretched, eyes wide open, swearing like a trooper. He had just exhibited a fully developed Moro reflex, the primitive startle reflex that babies exhibit up to the age of 4 months.

James’ troublemaker image and self esteem difficulties grew from the fights he started while in the locker bays. Fights he denied starting. The jarring sound of locker doors slamming activated the Moro reflex. James’ arms would then spring open and the cry he would have made as an infant became uncontrollable swearing. This guaranteed a reaction from others that often developed into a fight.

The Moro reflex, one of the Primitive Reflexes, is the infants fight or flight response to danger. It should have emerged at about 9 weeks in utero and have been fully developed and integrated by 2 – 4 months of life. It then becomes replaced by the adult startle response where it it possible to stop and discern if the noise has an element of danger to it and only then react.

James’ unintegrated Moro Reflex meant he was physically and emotionally being put into fight or flight survival mode by every loud noise he experienced.

In James’ case a quick birth and infantile illness had combined leaving the Moro reflex together with several other early reflexes ‘stuck’ in his system. He could operate ‘normally’ only when he was totally relaxed. The stress of high school combined with the teenage hormones meant that this rarely happened. He was constantly ready for the sabre tooth tiger to attack!

A few sessions enabled his system to rewire itself and integrate the reflexes into the soon to be adult system. Instead of continually trying to contain himself, James gained real control over his emotions and outbursts. His self esteem improved, his learning became easy and his results improved and he was once again able to be his own wonderful self.

Our body is a miraculous thing, it can learn to deal with almost anything. But often through compensation.

Many of us have some incomplete early development patterns that leave us vulnerable to stress. Most of the time we compensate, until we hit enough stress for that compensation to collapse.

Sometimes you can see this physically, for example in someone who is normally coordinated who starts bumping into things when they are tired or stressed.

Emotionally we can say or do things we later regret. Old emotional issues emerge and our health can start to decline. Our thoughts and feelings become conflicted and learning anything new becomes at best difficult.

The miracle of movement…

We all know a good walk often calms down the most emotional issue – but if unintegrated reflexes are the cause then they will continue to stop us from accessing our full potential anytime we hit our particular stress wall.

By discovering which early movements are blocked, where the difficulties lie and then fully exploring them we can help them to become integrated and life becomes far more easy and joyful.

One way to do this is through a Movement Education Balance – I invite you to come in and enjoy one. They are fun and suitable for all ages and all goals….

Look forward to seeing you soon!

That’s all for now..

Cheers, Gay

September 13th, 2009

OK folks – this is the week for change! Well – at least an auspicious one from a astrology perspective – resist and perish is one way it could be seen…. as Babula Clemens, a well respected Brisbane Astrology teacher comments, and I quote… “On September 15th, we have the 3rd of a series of 5 dynamic oppositions between Saturn, planet of the old, and Uranus, planet of the new. This opposition began in November 2008 (when Obama was elected), continues through to the end of July 2010 and is a major factor in the huge changes we are all experiencing. The Shift is upon us”….

Pus we have a new moon (new start) at the end of the week – powerful stuff for Virgoans and also Pisceans or those with strong Virgo/Piscean influences…

enjoy!

Gay

Spring has sprung, the grass has riz ….

Perhaps it is the Canadian in me but springtime always gets me excited, new ideas stir and things seem possible once again. I don’t know about you but I can over extend myself verrry easily this time of year.

Lately the 5 phases balance, based on the wisdom of Chinese Medicine, has been coming up for many of my clients. This process is about balancing the energies of renewal with the energies of letting go. I find the concepts contained within it reflect essential wisdom of life so this is the basis of my article for this month’s ezine.

SPRING INTO BALANCE

by Gay Landeta

Here in Queensland we went from winter through spring to summer in only a few hours last week; Winter jammies and hot drinks one night, cool drinks on the balcony on a balmy evening the next. Lovely for us but have you noticed how disrupted nature is by this abrupt change in seasons?

The wisdom of Chinese Medicine speaks of the importance of each season in the cycle of growth. Chinese Medicine practitioners often recommend a tune up as the seasons change to keep us in the flow, they know that we often need a little nudge to shift into the next cycle and if we don’t dis-ease can erupt.

They look at the body as a system of energy and call the balanced flow the Shen cycle. The Shen cycle features 5 phases, these correspond to the seasons, colours, sounds and emotions as well as the meridian system (the energy map) of the body.

In kinesiology we also use the wisdom of this system as it so accurately portrays the flow of life. Once you understand it you can start to recognise if you are working with – or against – the natural flow and find balance once again.

THE PHASES:

The colour green signifies spring. This is the wood element and, as in spring, it is time to transform and make choices, let go of the old and begin the creation of the new. The sound associated with this element is shouting and the feeling is anger. While in the west we may consider anger inappropriate, it is so only when used inappropriately. Within it lies the energy of boundaries and clarity about who we are.

Summer follows spring and the colour of summer is red. This is the fire element and contains the fires of passion. In Chinese Medicine the heart energy lies here as does the energy of assimilation, understanding and moving forward. The energy of Will is strong here. In the fire element the emotion is joy and the sound is laughter.

Once the heat of summer is over it becomes time to re-group before autumn arrives, Indian Summer in North America. I used to love this time of year, it feels sort of timeless. This grounding element, Earth, is the colour yellow and contains the energy of reflection and contentment. At this time we make balanced decisions about our life. In the Earth element you will find compassion. The sound is singing.

Autumn follows, the element of Metal and the purity of white. Precise and clear. This element holds our self worth. At this time we begin to let go of the old as insights emerge. In Metal lies the sound of crying and the feelings of grief. This feeling is often difficult for us, but it is essential to grieve the loss of the old to create the space for the new.

Finally the cycle enters winter, the Water element. The dissolution of the old and the stillness while waiting for the new. Blue is the colour of winter. This time fears emerge and inner direction is needed before moving once again into the renewal of spring. The sound of winter is groaning, like the trees in winter wind!

In the Shen cycle each phase follows the other other naturally and easily. We synchronistically move from ideas into actions, then into re-considering, slowing, stopping and letting go, moving gracefully through the phases.

Unfortunately many of us end up in what Chinese Medicine practitioners call the Ko cycle, lurching from wood to earth to metal to fire. Chaotically moving from reacting, instead of responding and then growing before letting go.

So how can we regain balance once we find ourselves in the chaotic Ko cycle?

Firstly, stop and listen to where you are in the cycle, notice if you are roaring into the next phase before completion of the present.

Then experience the element you are stuck in – or avoiding – and explore the feelings, the sounds and the colour. You may notice an extreme reaction – love or hate – to the sound or the colours of the one that is over or under energised.

For example, you may feel out of phase with the wood element, unable to transform the old or make choices about the new. You may be angry and shouting or unable to express yourself at all. You may detest the colour green or be drawn to wearing it constantly. To transform this element consider if you need to sacrifice something for the sake of the greater. Find a quiet place to scream and yell, fill yourself with the colour green or spend some time in the green of nature.

If you aren’t sure, another way to feel the flow of Shen is to sit in meditation with each colour in order. Green, red, yellow, white and then blue. Imagine yourself in a room of each colour or fill yourself with the colour in whatever shade is right for you. You may want to spend more or less time in each, allow yourself to flow in your own natural rythm and relax into the gentle flow of the Shen cycle.

And if it that still leaves you feeling chaotic consider calling your acupuncturist or come and get a balance and regain the peace of the Shen cycle.

Enjoy!

Gay

July 2, 2009

Here is this months article from my ezine…. enjoy!

RESIST OR PERSIST?
By Gay Landeta

Resist or persist? Each of us has our own way of dealing with the challenges of life.

Some people, when challenged keep on trying. They try and try and try. Eventually they may get there but often through lots of struggle. These people can almost seem to be too optimistic…. “I can do anything if I keep on trying.” is often their cry – that may be true but to what cost?

Others, once a challenge hits, stop dead in their tracks. It becomes too much, the wrong direction, too hard. Sometimes they just completely avoid the issue and turn to look another way, they stick their fingers in their ears and sing “lalalalala”! Nothing can squeeze in to change their view until the next crisis happens.

Still others commit, step forward, falter, run away, recommit, step forward, falter, run away….

Each of these are a coping mechanism and useful till now but perhaps – if you are reading this – not so much any more, you might be looking for a new way.

Maybe you want to be able to keep going steadily in your life regardless of that pattern of turning away.

Maybe you want to stop for a while, not to always try so hard to make things happen.

Perhaps you just want to be able to look at an issue, a crisis or a challenging goal, eyeball to eyeball, and make a clear choice and take action.

The good news is you can. The bad news is that it may well feel uncomfortable and even intuitively wrong because we need to break out of that comfort zone of the personality.

Our higher mind, what some would call the super-conscious and others the mind of limitless possibility, is the mind of clear choices, unwavering decisions and decisive actions; while our lower mind, the seat of the personality, is very comfortable with its own ways of doing things.

We all have lots of stories and reasons and issues and emotions that keep us convinced that we have to do things the same way. And, while our intuition is a magical thing, sometimes what we think is our intuition is actually those patterns, stories and issues sneaking in.

Sometimes even when we believe we are listening to that higher mind, that sneaky lower mind has already influenced where we are going and what we do. We are human after all!

For example we have decided to follow a new eating plan that excludes dairy but our intuition is telling us strongly that we really need some cheese….. is that the intuition letting us know we need calcium or our love of cheese?!

Or we have decided to go back to study, we are determined to do it no matter how hard it is even though our family and even our health is suffering. We know we could cut down the units and bring back balance but we feel that we must complete it on time, that it is essential to our future and the work we need to do….. Is that true or is it left over fear of failure from troubles at school?!

Or maybe we have made some decision about our direction but then something stalls us and we wonder if perhaps the decision was not such a good one….

So, how can you tell if your guidance is clear? If your decision is right and that this is something that you need to keep working towards and not waver – or if those challenges mean you should stop.

One thing you can do is stop and feel for emotions - are you feeling any of the deep and uncomfortable ones? The major roadblocks usually have aspects of shame, humiliation, guilt, blame, apathy, despair, grief, regret, craving, desire, anger, hate, pride or scorn in them. All the yuckies!

If you are feeling aspects of these then best to wait until they pass, once they have moved through our life clarity returns and we become sure of the next step – which brings me to my booster of the month. The best way to do that is to stop. Wait until you are back in touch with who you really are. And only then make the big decisions to go forward, stop or just wait a while.

And if they don’t pass – well at least we are aware of the elephant in the room. Kinesiology, counselling, flower essences… there are many therapies that can help to shift that elephant if it has settled in!

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This Month’s Resolve : When in doubt, stop and smell the roses!

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Booster of the Month :

SIT IN THE SUN AND DREAM

Do you need instructions for this? Probably not! Just find a spot in the sun, under a tree, beside the sea, wherever you feel comfortable and allow yourself to rest.

Let yourself be there until you have relaxed. Feel the sun, experience the outdoors and refocus. And if your mind refuses to stop then try last month’s meditation!

….

“I have a body but I am not my body.
I have feelings but I am not my feelings,
I have desires but I am not my desires,
I have a mind but I am not my mind.
I am a centre of pure self consciousness, capable of mastering, directing and using all my psychological processes and my physical body.”

Have a great month!

Gay

June 5, 2009

Here is June’s ezine article – if you are struggling with a thousand roles in your life (and who in this day and age isn’t?) this article may give you a fresh perspective and a useful way to step out of them. Once you are out of them you can see more clearly, make better decisions in your work and in your life and gain some peace and clarity….

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Roles – Are yours holding you back?

By Gay Landeta

We all have many facets to our life, and these facets, the roles we take in day to day life, often create conflict and frustration. We start to feel trapped and exhausted rushing around as parent, corporate lawyer, yoga student, cook, money manager, child …. plus a thousand more in a day.

It is easy to get lost in these roles, to believe we are them, and that we must do them and excel in them to be worthwhile. Our self esteem often hangs off them.

We believe so strongly in the importance of roles that we do our best to ensure our children have all they need to create their roles in the belief that will ensure their happiness. And if they don’t we worry about them. And they worry about themselves.

In fact we can get so caught in the importance of our roles that we worry that if we stop playing a role the world will fall apart. That these roles are, in fact, essential to life and to our very being.

But, what if that’s not true? What if our true nature does not consider our roles as important as we do. Ouch, most ego’s will react to that one!

Think about it though, how many people we hear of who have their whole life explode around them and have their roles taken away by some random action in the world? Some people stay stuck in their ex-role and stuck in their ex-life. Others deal with it, painful as it may be, and then grow stronger and more inspirational to others.

Often it is their ability to detach from that role, to realise they are more than that role, that their core self, their true being has remained unaltered by any of the external events, that determines the level of joy in their post apocalyptic life.

And, while most of us are fortunate not to have to experience something as dramatic as that we all experience the kids leaving home, loosing a job, the death of a loved one. And at these times, part of what we need to deal with is a change in identity, in a role we are playing in our life.

The Buddhists have a core teaching about the concept of impermanence, that everything is temporary, including our human incarnation, and that our attachments, including the faulty belief of permanence, is the source of all suffering.

In theory that’s all well and good, but to bring these concepts into our day to day life can often feel very scary.

Our roles have taken on such importance in our life that it actually can feel like we could die or worse if we stop doing what we are doing.

But guess what, we don’t have to stop doing stuff or even let go of our roles, our goals or our life to let go of the suffering and enjoy life more – we just need to remember that there is something else at our core and that is who we truly are.

Our roles, our life, even our physical incarnation are just tools for our true self to use in the world, to help us to learn our lessons and enjoy our planet! We need to anchor to our center and allow our roles to just be something we choose to do. Not have to do. We can experience and stay connected to our life, our loves and joys, even our disappointments without feeling they are us.

As we learn to detach but stay connected we learn to live life more joyfully with less suffering. Our many roles clash less and clarity about our future emerges at the right time. Life becomes more graceful, even in the rush!

This month, sit with the concept of impermanence and remember that we are all more than we appear to be. And see if it opens doors for you.

Enjoy the Process!

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This Month’s Resolve : To remember that our roles are just roles, not who we truly are.

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Booster of the Month :

MEDITATION ON THE TRUE SELF

This meditation forms part of the teachings of Roberto Assigioli and is used, in part, in Transformational Kinesiology to help clear unhealthy identifications with our roles. While it is particularly effective within a balance where the blocks are cleared prior to the meditation the usefulness of regular quiet contemplation cannot be underestimated.

Find a quiet place where you will be undisturbed for a period of time. Five minutes is a good start although you may choose to meditate longer.

Sit or lie comfortably, And become aware of your body, just notice it in a neutral way, without trying to change, all the physical sensations you have, any aches or pains or discomfort. Be aware of the clothes on your skin, the air on your face, your feet on the ground. Once you have done this for long enough move to the next step.

Now become aware of your feelings, notice what you are feeling right now. Which feelings are predominate in your life right now, both the positive and the negative. Don’t judge, just view them and notice them.

Next become aware of your desires, impartially, as before, notice the desires that take turns motivating your life.

That you have desires but that these, too, are changeable and often contradictory.

Then observe the world of your thoughts, watch as one thought emerges and takes over from the previous one. If you think you are not having any thoughts this too is a thought. Watch your stream of consciousness; memories, opinions, nonsense, arguments, images flow by.

Finally dismiss this realm also from your observation and become the observer, the one who has been watching your thoughts, feelings, desires and sensations. Who is it that has been observing these realms? It is not the same object as the realm experiencing the sensations, the thoughts, the feelings or desires. It is not an image or a thought, it is your SELF, your essence, that has been observing but is distinct from all of them. “I am the SELF, a centre of pure self-consciousness”. Sit with this realisation for about 2 minutes.

Roberto Assigioli’s original version adds the words :
“I have a body but I am not my body.
I have feelings but I am not my feelings,
I have desires but I am not my desires,
I have a mind but I am not my mind.
I am a centre of pure self consciousness, capable of mastering, directing and using all my psychological processes and my physical body.”

I find these words a solid verbal reminder that I can choose to be the observer and not my thoughts, feelings or the emotions that are attached to any of my roles.

Enjoy the release!

may 25, 2009

How many times do I hear “all men /women are untrustworthy….” in response to a bad situation, or even a pattern of situations…..

And how many times have I been guilty of the sneaky delight of feeling a victim of my misery?

It is a very good idea to question the ‘all’ in a statement. Often we mean ’some’. think about it – change the statement to “some people are untrustworthy” – doesn’t that seem less devastating and more mundane. Maybe even no big deal. That person was a creep, right, but – in the scheme of things no biggie.

Now add in the actual situation – ie “some people I meet on the internet are untrustworthy”. Doesn’t that minimize it even more!

How about “last week I met someone untrustworthy on the internet” - wow – now there is even hope for next time!

Martin Seligman, talks about this concept of self imposed pessimism and misery in his book Learned Optimism: How to Change your Mind and your Life.
You can even fill in a questionaire (in the link below) to find out if your thinking is leading you down the path of unnecessary misery
http://www.stanford.edu/class/msande271/onlinetools/LearnedOpt.html

So practice reframing your thinking – make it specific, temporary and not about you and see if life looks a little brighter!

cheers, for now!

Gay