Shifting from here to there, how to get over the chasm 

by Gay Landeta

D X V X F > R

Commit this formula to memory! Why? Because this formula, sometimes called the Gleicher formula, holds the key to changing what is not working in your life. Once you understand what each component means and how they work together you can use it as fuel instead of sabotage when moving forward. It can become as easy as 2+2=4!

 The equation : Remember maths, I know you, too, were probably looking out the window so a quick reminder,  < or > equals greater than or less than. The point of the arrow is the smaller part of the equation. The other  calculation to recall is multiplication: when we multiply (X) we multiply the effect, not just add up the components.

D X V X F > R

R is for Resistance. Resistance is the big block to change. Getting stuck and not moving because of our fears is one of the biggest reason we stay stuck in the same old same old. Staying in the same old same old is fine if we are enjoying it, but not so much fun if we are struggling.

So what are we multiplying so it becomes greater than our Resistance to change?

D: is for Dissatisfaction. We need to feel a certain level of dissatisfaction before we are prepared to move outside our comfort zone. Getting out of stuck usually means moving outside our comfort zone. Often we numb uncomfortable feelings down with working too hard, blocking our feelings, negating our experiences or just the odd glass or 6 of wine.  Any and all distractions can be useful to keep ourselves from actually seeing what in our life is not working. Letting yourself feel dissatisfied is a core component of shifting from here to there.

V: is for Vision. We need to have a vision of where we want to go. Often I hear people say they have no idea of what they want. This is actually not true. It is just clouded too much to see. Often we may not know what it looks like but we do know how it could feel. Once we start to explore our dissatisfaction small glimmers of what could be start to emerge. It is true that sometimes it is just impossible to see what could be, often because if we were shown we would just not believe we could do it. Letting yourself know what you know, no matter how fleeting, and owning it is a start. Be brave and write it down. No one has to see it but you!  

F: we need to define what the first steps toward our goal is. Without taking steps, ie action in the outer world, nothing will happen. How many ‘gonna’ stories have we all listened to –  and created. These are fine fantasies however they will not create reality (‘Secret’ or not) without solid steps. Sometimes even taking the so called wrong step will take us in the right direction. Take a step that feels right and then evaluate. Try using your senses, not necessarily your head. It can create too many a limiting stories.

Remember this equation. D X V X F > R  Your Dissatisfaction multiplied by your Vision multiplied by those First steps must be greater than your Resistance.

And you will shift your Resistance.

I ask you : How can you apply this to change something in your life that you have been struggling with?

May 1st, 2011

The clinic has been so busy lately, I once again have been a little remiss in keeping this up to date…..

Here is my aticle from this months ezine, i hope you enjoy it.

Feeling Stuck and Disconnected? Try these Strategies for Whole-Hearted Living

by Gay Landeta

The human brain has long mystified science by defying all the usual medical mechanical understandings. Finally, now, after years of observation and experimentation we are beginning to unearth its workings.

Early work identified the brain as consisting of two sides, the right and left brain, with the creative processes attributed to the right and the more logical and rational processes delegated to the left lobes. The right and left brain theory is one that most of us have heard however the model now emerging, as a result of the latest research, is of a much more complex and holographic brain. 

The latest findings in the field of neural plasticity show a multi-faceted construction that is capable of growing and changing during our entire lifetime. This ability to grow and change gives enormous hope to anyone suffering from brain injury of any type or, more importantly, for anyone who just wants to use their brain more effectively. However, this ability to change is also our undoing because it appears our brain records new learning, quite indiscriminately, indelibly into our neural links.

It really does seem that the old adage use it or lose it is absolutely true, in every way! So how can we develop a better ability to use the skills our brain offers us? And how can we lose that which we no longer want or need? Read the rest of this entry »

March, 11, 2011

this months ezine….

enjoy! Gay

Conflict : Evolution or Devolution?

by Gay Landeta

Conflict. While many of us avoid it, if at all possible, it can play an enormous part in our personal and spiritual growth. The challenge is to utilize its growth-full properties instead of its dividing qualities.

So how to do that?

First we need to understand conflict a little better. I like this description from Transformational Kinesiology. It originates from The Science of Becoming Oneself by Torkom Saraydarian and discusses the causes of conflict:

“…we will find conflict starts when:

• A new energy, thought or idea clashes with the old obsolete one
• People feel dissatisfaction with the current economic, social, religious, or scientific conditions (as new and better conditions arise)
• An advanced person enters our ranks and disturbs the calm and peaceful waters in which we are floating innocently or sinfully. We find in literature of olden days great disciples were often called troublemakers, this is true in every age.

I love the truth of that. Conflict with / from others is often the result of new ways clashing with the old. This shakes us up and if we are open enough creates change. Read the rest of this entry »

February 7, 2011

Here is my Ezine article for February – already had feedback from folks loving the process. Hope you enjoy it!

Gay

Create your Outcome : Discover what you did  

 by Gay Landeta

 All too often we spend countless hours trying to figure out how to achieve what we want. Trying to figure out what needs to happen and how can we make it happen. We start to worry and end up feeling stressed and ultra focused on outcome.

But trying doesn’t work, regardless of what anyone says. Even trying your best doesn’t work.. don’t believe me? Try to pick up that pencil. Nope, I didn’t say pick it up I said try. Try your hardest. Keep trying..

Notice what happened? You just put all your energy and focus into picking up that pencil but you did not pick it up. Nothing happened. It just sat there regardless of how hard you tried. You failed in achieving what you wanted. You didn’t pick up that pencil. Because you were trying, not doing.

So what about doing? Have a go at it. Just do it. Pick up the pencil. Sure you picked it up but now what? Doing is certainly important but a why will take us to a whole new level.  Do we want to feel the weight of it in our hand? To chew on while we think? Do we want to practice a magic trick? To draw or write..

Now imagine starting with a goal. “I want to pick up the pencil and draw that seedpod.” You begin to know the steps involved. You need to set up the seed pod, have a drawing pad and the right type of pencil. You might need some lighting and a glass of water, maybe a snack. Trouble is your mind might stop you. “But I am not so good at drawing”

So what if, instead of thinking about the outcome from before you start, you think about it from after you finished? What was it was like to draw? “I picked up a pencil and drew the seedpod. I captured the energy of the pod in my drawing and I loved doing it. First I handled the seedpod and looked at it, started to feel it and decided on using a fat pencil to draw it, etc.”

The end result will be more in line with what you want because you took the time to decipher how it would happen. You will be less likely to berate yourself for not being able to draw because you described drawing a way you knew you could. We are all hyper-aware of our limitations. Taking time to discover what you did means you can adjust for your perceived limitations, figure out what needs to happen to compensate for them or what steps need to happen so they can be overcome.

This works for things you already know how to do but also for things you don’t know how to do but want to – it is also great way to explore your goals for the year. 

If you aren’t sure what your goals are then call me on 07 3255 0099 - a session may be all you need to get you on your way to Creating the Life you want to Live!

have a great month!

Gay

copyright Gay Landeta 2011 do not reproduce without express permission of the author.

January 4th, 2011

Battling with the floods here in Queensland – best laid plans and all that – inspired my Ezine this month – you can subscribe at http:gaylandeta.com.au/sign-up/  I hope you enjoy it. We were very lucky but my thoughts go out to all the people affected by the flooding in Queensland who did not get such a positive outcome.  The Salvation Army www.salvos.org.au is accepting donations or you can contribute to the Premiers Flood Relief Fund by calling 1800 219 028, going into any Bank of Queensland, or donate online at https://www.smartservice.qld.gov.au/services/donations/campaigns/appeal10  

enjoy,

Gay

Unravel the Secret – 7 Steps to Creating your Dreams

by Gay Landeta

1.       CREATE YOUR PLANS:

Creating plans, goals and manifesting our dreams are fantastic things we humans do, they keep up our spirits and give us hope for the future. Spending time with the deepest part of our nature is an important way to know what we want to create in our life. Writing these dreams down, drawing them out or creating a vision board is the crucial next step to achieving them.  There is something about committing things to paper that starts the manifestation process.

 7 am Boxing Day 2010, following plans made months in advance, saw me, my partner and my mother-in-law  in my trusty vehicle on the road (only a little behind schedule) to get to Tenterfield for the family Christmas.

2.       CREATE YOUR INFRASTRUCTURE:

The next step to manifesting your dreams is to figure out the resources you have and those you don’t. Put things in place to get where you want to go, build the resources, do the training, try to foresee what may happen and create backup plans to support your goals. Do your best but know you only know what you know. Research, ask questions or find support from someone who has taken the same journey before you to learn more about what you don’t know.

 Boxing Day: We had looked at the weather reports and knew the potential for drama was there however we really wanted to go so we apologized again to Albert (the cat who owns us), grabbed a coffee from Cafeine, filled up the tank and started on our journey. Nita had been unwilling to confine Mr Darcy (the cat who owns her) to the comfort of the vet for the week, the minimum time available during the festive season, as he had the disconcerting habit of flinging himself on his back and squealing whenever she left him so she just made sure he had lots of food and water and a clean litter box. It was only going to be overnight. Cunningham’s Gap highway had been closed for some major road work recently but it was open again and all was fine. And there was always the Toowoomba route. Longer but possible.

3.       LET GO OF THE OUTCOME:

Once you are on the journey anything can happen. All you can do is remember your goal and let go of the outcome, what will be will be.

 27^th am:  After a great Boxing Day together we were all glad to be leaving for our respective homes. The other Brisbane bound vehicle left about 7 and sent us an sms road update at 9 from Warrick, the halfway mark – generally roads wet but clear – so off we set.  

Truly – I have never seen such rain. Or so much water. We dodged potholes and marveled at the height of the water on the side of the road. We managed to get over the bridge in Warrick before we were stopped by the Police just north of town. The road to Aratulla and the Gap was closed. No access to the Toowoomba Road and no idea when either would open, it had just become impassable. Our only option was to backtrack and head further down South and ‘try’ the Glen Innes and Grafton route. ‘Might be open’. A four hour journey had just doubled.  And was very likely impossible.

4.       GROWING THROUGH THE JOURNEY:

Often the pursuit of a goal means growth in some way. Facing the challenges and even sitting with the frustration or pain is generally the best option. Ignoring it or pretending it isn’t there means there can be no transformation.

27^th pm:  We drove back through town, the inns that had been empty on the trip through were now completely filled and caravans and motor homes lined the roads. We decided to Read the rest of this entry »

December 21st, 2011

This article was in my December 1st issue of Resolve. Christmas always makes me think of community, my lovely family so far away in Canada and my lovely created family and tribe close by. I hope you have a community to choose to gather with (or not! sometimes peace is very nice!) over the holidays.

Enjoy,

Gay

Community – are you getting enough

by Gay Landeta

I have been thinking about community and what constitutes community a lot lately. It was one of my majors when I was at QUT and the core of the pilot program I co-designed for young people with major disabilities. These kids, who most needed connections, were the ones most marginalized in their community.

But are they the only ones amongst us who feel marginalized or out of sync with others? Why is it that many people complain of feeling disconnected despite having a thousand facebook friends? The underlying question that emerges is ‘are we developing relationships with others or just interacting?’ We are all, at heart, social creatures and very few of us really thrive away from regular human contact. Even the introverts amongst us – those who regenerate better on their own rather than (as an extrovert does) with others – find a feeling of community and connectiveness important.

So how do we create community?

Once upon a time it was through meeting others at the shops, gossiping over the fence, having a beer down the pub with mates, but these days the internet has become a major connector. Facebook, dating sites, forums, blogs, you name it we engage in it. But is that really connecting?

Part of my fascination back at Uni was with the connections people were making in on-line gaming and alternate reality communities. I watched my son create an Avatar (an online personality) in Runescape, an online game that involves getting points, developing alliances and moving through the game levels by fighting, training, partying and generally interacting who other Avatars created by people around the world. 

At the same time I knew a writer who belonged to the alternate reality site SecondLife, partly to create a personal sense of community but mainly to test different plots and potential novels in vaguely realistic situations.

Both sites offered an online sense of community however even those who were totally entranced with the life they had created could not deny that physically they had a reality that was different. Everyone had to eat and sleep sometime. 

Then along came Facebook, Twitter and the current social networking fad. I often wonder if a similar thing is happening, that we have created Avatars that are tweeting and facebooking and blogging but perhaps it feels more real because we are connecting to our ‘friends’. In addition and unlike a geeky gaming community, it is such a mainstream thing now that many of us (especially in business) feel compelled to do it.

But does it really fill the gap of community? So many say it feels a bit hollow or doesn’t fill that deep call from the soul for connection.

Don’t get me wrong- I have a Facebook page which I started to keep up with family and then started connecting with interesting people including colleagues, clients and others. I love some of the deep or very wry comments and enjoy seeing what is up with people – especially far away loved ones – and have started to develop a deeper connection (maybe) with some of the family I haven’t seen for years. I also sometimes feel frustrated with content obviously written by Social Networking Assistants or displays of endless good (or bad) humour. Oh well, maybe that’s all community as well! : )

In the end we do crave relationships with real people and it is up to us to create that reality. Can it happen through facebook – probably – if our intention is to portray ourself, not just the sanitised, perfect Avatar.

So my question and challenge this month is to think about your community, your friends, family, created family, tribe, whatever, both online and offline.  Take some time to see if they feel fulfilling. That’ll mean sitting in your life, unplugged. Then, if it isn’t – or you hear that longing from the soul for something more connected – then make some plans and take action to reach out in a different way.

Maybe ask yourself if your tweet or facebook comment is portraying something that you really like or is it just for public consumption?

Are you a created Avatar without substance or are you developing a true community?

Do you need more real people in your life? Maybe find a new group or try even try volunteering.

Is there unfinished business in your life that is stopping your from connecting with others?

My challenge – to myself and to those who crave community and sometimes feel the hollowness of online connecting – is to strive to be real…. feel free to join me on facebook. I hope I come up to my standards!!!!!

Enjoy the season that, regardless of religion or beliefs, is a time for connection, letting go of the past and opening up to the new. 

Happy 2011!

©copyright Gay Landeta 2010 no part may be reproduced without express permission from the author http://gaylandeta.com.au

my ezine article for this september…. enjoy…..

How many times have you had a brilliant idea in a peak of excitement, only to find later it seemed to just lead you to one of those trickier learning places you would have rather detoured around?

Or made a decision when feeling a little low only to later regret it?

Both of these situations, feeling high or low on life, are times when we are deeply in our human nature (as opposed to our True Nature). Our human nature is who we are on this planet. Our personality, our ego, our thoughts and emotions, our physical body; in fact everything we use to interact with others. These are the parts of us that will be no longer visible once we die.

Esoterically we can see these parts as the vehicle that we have been given in this life to work with, to learn with and to experience being on the planet Earth with. The driver of our vehicle, often called our Highest Self, or our True Nature, is that intangible aspect within. It has a voice but can be drowned out by our thoughts and feelings. It is an aspect of us that is free of judgement or demands and is often called the still small voice, but, in our busy 21st century life, it is often very hard to hear.

Working with this voice, however, listening and responding to its cues, is what many of us choose to do to live our life on Purpose. So how do we know when we are in alignment with that quiet higher aspect of our-self when we make a decision? We can allow space in making decisions and become aware of waiting until the fog of the personality lifts before making an the choice. That means neither making a decision when we are ‘up’ nor ‘down’.

So how does that look on a day to day basis? 

Firstly be aware how you feel when you are making a decision.

Sometimes we humans make decisions when we are feeling down or depressed. Sometimes there seems no other way, or doom and gloom predicts only one outcome, or we may make a decision just to get us out of uncomfortable feelings.

Be aware though, often when we are down or depressed, many of us loose the ability to hear that quiet still voice. Before making a big decision step back and do some self care. Take some time to be gentle and loving with yourself. Allow the fog to settle and clarity to emerge and if it doesn’t get support from a health practitioner or therapist to help you get back into ‘You’. 

Another red herring, and one that can be a little trickier, is the decision made when something feels so exciting and wonderful that we can’t stop ourselves from running with our own brilliance. Think back to a decision made in the height of passion – that turned out not to be the best of ideas. That’s your example! And we all have them.

This doesn’t mean that we should choose not to live our passion, but that we need to be mindful that a passionate place may not be in alignment with anything other than our personalities.

Passion is wonderful stuff. Art, music and other amazing human expressions rely on passion to inspire and move us. But it is not necessarily soul inspired. Being passionately inspired by someone’s gorgeous physique could be a case in point! Clients often tell me about times they have made a decision inspired by passion, for example deciding to move to a new town after meeting the ‘One’ (who wasn’t) or leaving a job for a new brilliant idea (that didn’t work out).

Much better to wait until the passion abates and the fog of the personality lifts. This does not necessarily mean just listening to the rational mind. It can scream louder than the passionate one!

This means waiting until we can hear that quiet still voice and make our decisions in alignment with our Highest Self, our True Nature. The advantage of doing this is that by waiting and making a conscious and clear decision it becomes much easier to take responsibility for the outcome, regardless of that outcome, because we know it was the Right thing to do.

To read more on staying connected have a look at ‘Roles Are Yours Holding You Back’ from May 2009; for more on making decisions aligned with the Highest self have a look ‘Resist or Persist?’ from June 2009 and for more on taking personal responsibility have a look at ‘Trying to Hard to Fix Things? Stop Being a Victim’ from October 2009. You can see all these and more in my archives

©Gay Landeta2010

by Gay Landeta

Some people love change, some hate it but most of us experience mixed feelings about it at some time or another.This is because there are so many factors involved in the actual process that is change, psychological being the most challenging for most of us.

Wikipedia says psychological topics include perception, cognition, attention, emotion, motivation, brain functioning, personality, behavior, and interpersonal relationships. Whew. When you think about it, it becomes fairly obvious that some or many of those areas will be challenged during the process of change.

Very often, once several of those areas are challenged we move into a ‘fight or flight’ reaction to life. Fight or flight means just that – it is a survival mechanism where once we would either fight the sabre tooth tiger or flee. It is useful in our system in short blasts – not so healthy long term.

Futurist Faith Popcorn suggests that during change, the fight or flight response activated by the philological challenges, result in “cocooning” (cutting our self off from all those around us to try to ignore what is happening) or through actively resisting change through negativity, destructive criticism, even sabotage.

Obviously these tactics are not congruent with a peaceful, harmonious and connected life!

In this article I am going to offer you a handful of tips that can take you out of the reactivity of fight or flight and into being pro-active.

Try them, see which work for you and add your own little helpers to the list. Then, when you notice yourself hiding away or becoming negative and obstructional you will have a few tactics up your sleeve! Read the rest of this entry »

December 10th, 2009

I am so busy setting up my new clinic – and combined with the acceleration of this time of year I need to remember these to stay sane!

Enjoy!

10 TIPS TO SURVIVE THE SILLY SEASON (GOOD FOR ANY TIME OF YEAR!)

by Gay Landeta

These ideas are not rocket science… they may be things you already know or I may have shown you to help you deal with your life…. play with them.

Some may work better than others and playing with them may remind you of others you know that you can add to the list. One great way to develop resilience is to keep finding great ways that help you to deal with the dross of life.

1. Use the Dennison Re-patterning Process when life feels to overwhelming. This is a fundamental part of Brain GymR and helps to refocus and re-organise our system to keep-on keeping-on in a relaxed and playful way. If you don’t know it learn it! It really is useful.

2. Let go of those roles that are keeping you stuck. Our roles, the hats we wear, create such expectations for us. Many of them bad! And especially at this time of year. Remember to step outside of them and figure out what you WANT to do and let go of what you SHOULD do.

Should’s do not bring us happiness in the end, nor do they ultimately keep the peace or make anyone else happy. Why? Because we often end up resentful and maybe even bitter. Find a way to make peace within with your ‘obligations’ and your needs.

3. Go for a swim in the sea. Salt water is very cleansing for our energy system and those ozones by the seaside contain a serious feel good factor. If you can’t get to the sea fill the bath and add a good handful or two of sea salt. Or put a big handful of sea salt in a soft flannel and rub it all over under the shower. You may be amazed at how squeaky clean you feel after. Gets rid of all that stale energy.

4. Keep communicating. This sounds simple but many of us give up communicating when we get busy. It becomes too hard. Recognise when you are finding it too much to talk and take a breath and initiate conversation with someone, anyone! That conversation may be about something important to you or just to connect and let others in.

Most of us need contact with another person everyday to help keep us sane!

5. Keep relaxed by keeping moving. Sounds a little weird but we do stay more relaxed with some movement in our life. It isn’t easy for many of us, including me, to remember to move, but it does make a difference. Try to include something everyday in your life.

6. Remember that your senses, especially smell and sound, are great tools to utilise in helping you to relax. Nice smells and calming music are used by all the 5 star spas all over the world to help you to relax in their environs. Take a tip and use it at home.

7. Have a rest. Sleep is important. And if it is getting scarce then power naps may be the answer. My mother (a mother of 5 who worked full time) got me addicted to these when my boys were small. Close your eyes for 5, 10 or 20 minutes. No longer. Allow yourself to completely relax during this time. When you keep it this short you do not get the duh feeling of a long afternoon nap. You just wake feeling refreshed and ready for action.

8. Keep up your nutrition, especially your minerals. We think that vitamins are important but for many of us it is all those trace minerals that are lacking. Our ancient soil is pretty mineral light and our bodies can get very depleted before any symptoms show. Talk to your local health food shop and get a good supplement if you are feeling tired or out of sorts. And, if your digestion is not what it should be then make sure you take them in a liquid form.

For those who are not sleeping, especially if you are a worrier and having some muscle cramps then consider magnesium, it can be a miracle mineral. (note this is not a prescription – talk to a qualified nutritional counsellor before undertaking any intensive vitamin or mineral therapy).

9. Make sure you own your choices. Once you decide to do something commit to it. While I understand this is hard, not committing is harder – why? Because if something goes wrong we start to regret our decisions or wish we had done something different. Hindsight is always 20/20.

If we own the decisions we make then we know they were the best we could do at the time. Otherwise we would have done something else.

10. Learn to recognise when you feel great and when you don’t. And when these are normal ups and downs (we all need these to know when we are happy if nothing else!) and when they are not. We all will have times when life conspires with too much and we are beyond our ability to cope.

When you can’t cope and what you are trying doesn’t help seek help. Don’t waste your life being out of whack. It is far too precious.

Have a wonderful holiday season!

cheers, Gay