January 26th, 2013

This tale has been retold many, many times like any good folktale.
Here are a couple of versions….

A man named Sei Weng owned a beautiful mare which was praised far and wide. One day this beautiful horse disappeared. The people of his village offered sympathy to Sei Weng for his great misfortune. Sei Weng said simply, “That’s the way it is.”

A few days later the lost mare returned, followed by a beautiful wild stallion. The village congratulated Sei Weng for his good fortune. He said, “That’s the way it is.”

Some time later, Sei Weng’s only son, while riding the stallion, fell off and broke his leg. The village people once again expressed their sympathy at Sei Weng’s misfortune. Sei Weng again said, “That’s the way it is.”

Soon thereafter, war broke out and all the young men of the village except Sei Weng’s lame son were drafted and were killed in battle. The village people were amazed as Sei Weng’s good luck. His son was the only young man left alive in the village. But Sei Weng kept his same attitude: despite all the turmoil, gains and losses, he gave the same reply, “That’s the way it is.”

Chin-Ning Chu, in “The Asian Mind Game: unlocking the hidden agenda of the Asian business culture — a westerner’s survival manual,” New York:Macmillan Publishing Company(1991)

and another

A man who lived on the northern frontier of China was skilled in interpreting events. One day, for no reason, his horse ran away to the nomads across the border. Everyone tried to console him, but his father said, “What makes you so sure this isn’t a blessing?”

Some months later his horse returned, bringing a splendid nomad stallion. Everyone congratulated him, but his father said, “What makes you so sure this isn’t a disaster?”

Their household was richer by a fine horse, which his son loved to ride. One day he fell and broke his hip. Everyone tried to console him, but his father said, “What makes you so sure this isn’t a blessing?”

A year later the nomads came in force across the border, and every able-bodied man took his bow and went into battle. The Chinese frontiersmen lost nine of every ten men. Only because the son was lame did the father and son survive to take care of each other.

Truly, blessing turns to disaster, and disaster to blessing: the changes have no end, nor can the mystery be fathomed.

The Lost Horse, Chinese Folktale.
As told by Ellen J. Langer, in” The Power of Mindful Learning,” Reading, Mass: Addison-Wesley (1997).

This article was written by Gay Landeta with the intention of helping you to Create the Life you Want to Live! All rights reserved 2011.

January 14th, 2012

I have a confession to make. I have been suffering from inertia for a few weeks now.

I thought it was just end of year tiredness or boredom or something but I have to accept it is just old fashioned inertia. Can’t be stuffed. All I feel like doing is sleeping! True, I have had early mornings with puppy plus puppy responsibility on top of work so rest is welcome but I do have a couple of things that must get done and they haven’t been. Sleep keeps claiming me!

Don’t get me wrong, sleeping is great and with our super busy life often taking time out, doing nothing and just chilling is not only essential to our physical health but to our emotional and spiritual as well. But sometimes slowing down grinds us to a halt and our resistance to move seems insurmountable. Inertia takes over.

Inertia is not useful and is considered to be one of the 7 blocks on our spiritual path. It is a way we hide from our trueself. Being able to see what needs to happen – not what should, nor what we want but what NEEDS to happen  – and then taking action is fundamental to our growth.

But sometimes shifting forward feels almost impossible. Here are my top tips in identifying and overcoming the dreaded inertia. Work towards answering yes to each before proceeding to the next step. Read the rest of this entry »

Inner leadership.
What does that mean? These days, most people strive to be self reliant and independent.

Surely once we have mastery over ourselves we have inner leadership?

Perhaps not. Inner leadership is not so much about managing ourselves as leading ourselves.

Managing is about doing what is necessary today to get to where you want to go.

Leading is about creating the vision.

Inner leadership is about finding that quiet place within, amongst all the clamouring of all the voices and determining what it is that you are really wanting. Once found and aligned with it creates a sense of peace in our life that can be sorely wanted in these crazy times.

Outer Leadership, on the other hand, is about being driven by what others think, what others want for us, what we think we should have or think or do. Essentially Outer Leadership is about being driven by factors that are external to who we truly are and what our purpose for being is.

If you are finding yourself focusing on these external things you have just been distracted. Our true purpose is very unlikely to be a owning a nice new car, or a lovely house. Those things could be seen as an important part of managing and supporting ourselves so we can achieve our vision and be living our purpose, but they are not the purpose itself.

Getting clear about the big picture and separating it away from the management of our lives can stop us limiting ourselves by our ego desires. We can stop trying to figure out how to make something happen and just allow our-self to dream. Dreams can create reality when they align with our highest.

In trying to figure out what our highest callings we have to let go of our cultural and family conditioning. Our society puts a myriad of expectations on us including a picture of success equals a certain type of job, a flash car, a big house, the requisite number of happy children and exotic holidays. It is oh so easy to buy into this and use these as ideals that lead us.

Instead to get to our True Vision we need to allow ourself to dream of what is important to us in our heart of hearts. And then step up to make them happen.

Lets play….

Which of these values are important to you and why:

Authenticity

Serenity

Compassion

Service

Just is

Beauty

Right Relationships

Truth

Joy

Gratitude

(you can add in any more you can think of)

Now, when you start dreaming of what your purpose may be gather the values that you hold dear and see how they fit into that vision.

Or simply gather the values together and see how that looks in the bigger picture of your life. Start to manage yourself  to achieve more of that and you may find your purpose finds you.

 

This article was written by Gay Landeta with the intention of helping you to Create the Life you Want to Live! All rights reserved 2011.

What does Astrology, an ancient tool used for insight and guidance; Meditation used to create calm and develop focus and Psychological Profiling, modern systems used to understand human behavior and help develop potential (one of the best known would be Myers Briggs) all have in common?

They help us to develop the quality of observation of the self.

The ability to observe the self in a detached yet connected manner is an important step in our evolution as a human being. The ability to observe the emotions, thoughts, feelings and sensations of our daily existence is something that can be cultivated to help us become less attached to our daily dramas and less caught in the stories of our life.

In spiritual traditions meditation is used to learn to observe the self. The process of regularly sitting with the thoughts, feelings and sensations that drive our human existence without being caught within them creates a calm yet focused mind and allows us ultimately to access more of our intelligence. Research shows regular meditators have a more developed frontal lobe, the area of critical reasoning, than non meditators.

How can astrology and profiling be used in a similar manner? By using the information attained to help to detach from the drama of life instead of excuse our behaviour.

The more we step away from the situation, the clearer the best and most appropriate response becomes. Offering advice or support to a friend is often easier than giving it to ourselves because we have a bigger perspective and less emotional attachment to the outcome.

As we become the observer we start to develop a bigger perspective. As we learn more about ourselves, through a profiling system, astrology or similar, we see patterns emerge of who we are and can learn to navigate our behaviour in a different manner.

For example in my life I do my best to focus my perfectionism to aim for excellence while listening for the clues that I am falling into nit picking. My stubbornness supports the persistence that is needed to be a successful business owner and I am getting better at seeing when I am hitting my head against the concrete wall! And my sensitivity helps me to tune in to others but learning how to manage it and see the bigger picture was the key to being able to work effectively and not become overwhelmed.

So, while I don’t agree with becoming slavish about anything, I do suggest experiment with using any information that rings true with you, whether astrology or numerology or Disc profiling or Myers Briggs to help you to see yourself from a greater perspective and refocus out dated behaviour into a new and improved version.

This month I invite you to explore some patterns of behaviour. Sit with them, perhaps in meditation, and observe how they impact in your life, positively and negatively.

Once you see clearly how this is impacting start to make some conscious choices of other, more appropriate ways of reacting.

 

This article was written by Gay Landeta with the intention of helping you to Create the Life you Want to Live! All rights reserved 2011.

Our life is created around patterns of behaviour that we have developed to cope with, or in response to our experiences in life.

Often we wake up to old patterns that aren’t working for us anymore. We recognize that they are not useful and want to change but can’t. It can feel extremely frustrating to keep battling patterns we know are dysfunctional.

How to get out of them? First step, recognize the pattern in its entirety and how it has been useful. No matter how dysfunctional the behaviour, it was a defense mechanism that once upon a time worked. (Or at least was better than any other options.) Forgive yourself for being human!

Next decide what new behaviour could work and experiment with implementation. You will probably find it works for a little bit until you fall into the habit of the old behaviour. Again forgive yourself for being human.
Think it through a bit more, recognize the complexity of the pattern, maybe talk to some impartial outsiders to help you figure out a few more tactics and let go of a bit of baggage and have another go.

It will probably work a bit better this time. Or at least until you get stressed. Frustration or overwhelm hits and you might just pull out the old habit because at least it used to sort of work. And wham there you are again. Forgive yourself yet again for being human.

Maybe have another chat with your impartial support, dig a bit deeper and unpack a bit more of the old baggage, learn a few new techniques for dealing with stress, frustration and overwhelm and keep on keeping on practicing the new habits – until one day you notice they are your normal way of being.

Lets explore this in action, let’s say your old behaviour is screaming at or offering the silent treatment to the kids or your partner when they won’t help. (This is a pretty generic behaviour and one most people would prefer not to do.) Read the rest of this entry »

The challenge of the search for a soul mate is well known… so many think that once they find ‘the one’ they will be happy forever. The nice little fairy tale ending. But soul mates come in all shapes and sizes and are not always the perfect love match. Sometimes they are friends or relatives. And sometimes they  come into our life for us to explore our dark side.

These soul mate relationships can be very intense, painful and even harder to let go of than the perfect love match. I once heard these challenging soul mate lovers called the ‘Dark Lover’…. And ohhh, don’t they feel like that?! Very often we feel as intensely the pull towards them as the repelling away. Read the rest of this entry »

The urge to bond with another human being is almost impossible to ignore. And let’s face it – that is how the human species has survived! But the reality of making a relationship work, especially long term, is another thing altogether.

Neuroscience shows us that the stages of relationship are governed by chemicals in the brain. We start with good old lust, this is when we draw on our basic sex hormones, Estrogen and Testosterone.

We move onto attraction which requires appropriate levels of Dopamine (involved in addiction also!) Seratonin and  Adrenaline.  (think about that racing heart when s/he rings!)

Finally we have the attachment stage which is the area that is still not well understood. It seems Oxytocin, the mother or cuddle hormone, appears to be the lead hormone here.

No wonder, once in a relationship, we can lose our best intentions and become caught. With all those hormones and chemicals running rampant it can be difficult to stay connected to reality, especially if we also believe the myths of relationship. We end up bound into something that might not be the best for us – or our mate.

So before starting out in a relationship think about some of the myths of relationship, bust them and get set up for success, here are 5 that came to my mind ….. Read the rest of this entry »

My article from my last Resolve…. more about food. It must be winter time!

Enjoy!

Simple Tips to Optimizing your Nutrition Without Compromising the Yum Factor!

by Gay Landeta

There are many small ways you can improve your diet, here are a few I find work well for me and my clients. Try them and see what works for you, even small changes can have big results!

1. Listen to your body

Listen to what your body calls for. But learn to listen deeply, for example not to the call for a sugary treat but to what that could mean. Energy, comfort, low blood sugar, an endorphin hit; what is really being asked here? How can you respond to that in the most healthful way?

2. Try new foods

Lots of us don’t like new tastes. Did you know it takes up to 15 tastes of a new food to start to enjoy it?

Kids, in particular are notorious for being difficult. I had two boys, one loved the most exotic food, the other hated everything. By the time he was 7, I was over it. We made a deal that he would try 1 mouthful of everything and I would cook one thing he liked in each meal.

He gradually expanded his likes and by 10 was a varied eater. He had also discovered his favourite food in the world, Mount Everest Soup from the Tibetan Kitchen which, at 22, he still has at least once a fortnight.

He often laughs at what we would have missed out on had I kept pandering to his hatred of anything spicy, peppery, or with meat, vegetables, beans, herbs, or if it was to hot or cold, or a yucky texture…

3. Organic and Local

Organic is great! I always feel much better when I eat organic, but also consider the distance the food has travelled. Local fresh is also good. Try farmers markets, and ask if it really is the farmer’s produce. People like Farmer Ian at Coorparoo Markets (find him at facebook!) grows the veggies himself or knows the person who does.

Be especially aware of food brought in from overseas, whether frozen or fresh. Other countries have very different standards and the food may have more additives or be less clean. And that is aside from the giant carbon footprint. Saying that, I do like Aldi who are committed to no additives in any of their food.

4. Healthy Vegetarian and Vegan diets

If you choose no meat (and this is a valid choice; my grandmother, a vegetarian for 50 years, still cycled 20 miles to pick pecans at 80) please make sure you don’t just take meat out of your diet. It does supply essential vitamins and minerals so you need to replace these.

Don’t rely on soy and gluten convenience foods for your protein and always combine your non animal protein sources (grains, beans, etc) to ensure you get the complete chain of amino acids. Be aware that the more you exclude from your diet the more vigilant you must be in what you eat. Make every mouthful count. Include whey or protein powder and eggs in your diet if you can.

5. Add boosters to your diet

There are lots of vitamin, mineral and protein packed foods and food supplements. Many we already eat, or could easily eat every day.

Some of my favourites include Tahini, pumpkin (pepitas) and sunflower seeds, Flaxseed oil, Cider Vinegar, parsley and other herbs, nuts, cruciferous veggies, eggs, spirulina, green powders and â€^~super foods. Have a look at my blog post http://gaylandeta.com.au/booster-for-your-body/ for ideas on how to use these.

A great way to find out how to boost your diet is to ask your local health food store. I often send people over to Nereda Wills and the staff at Sun and Earth on Brunswick Street, New Farm for a bit of booster education. She does food tours in the shop and has a 15% off day on the 2nd Friday of the Month, plus 10% off on every saturday for Club members : http://www.sunandearth.com.au/

6. Consider the wisdom of Chinese Traditional Medicine

I love TCM and have used their food wisdom many times to support my health. For instance I solved my 3yr olds constant loose stools with a weekend diet of congee.

I have posted a great article by Rod Williams on my blog http://gaylandeta.com.au/spleen-energy-support-get-more-energy/ If you are feeling tired or having trouble with energy have a look.

I hope you enjoy these ideas, and please, if you are experiencing ongoing physical dis-ease such as fatigue or digestion issues or any unexplained health concerns make sure you see you do check with a doctor to rule out any other factors.

© Gay landeta 2011 : all rights reserved.

 

 

Shifting from here to there, how to get over the chasm 

by Gay Landeta

D X V X F > R

Commit this formula to memory! Why? Because this formula, sometimes called the Gleicher formula, holds the key to changing what is not working in your life. Once you understand what each component means and how they work together you can use it as fuel instead of sabotage when moving forward. It can become as easy as 2+2=4!

 The equation : Remember maths, I know you, too, were probably looking out the window so a quick reminder,  < or > equals greater than or less than. The point of the arrow is the smaller part of the equation. The other  calculation to recall is multiplication: when we multiply (X) we multiply the effect, not just add up the components.

D X V X F > R

R is for Resistance. Resistance is the big block to change. Getting stuck and not moving because of our fears is one of the biggest reason we stay stuck in the same old same old. Staying in the same old same old is fine if we are enjoying it, but not so much fun if we are struggling.

So what are we multiplying so it becomes greater than our Resistance to change?

D: is for Dissatisfaction. We need to feel a certain level of dissatisfaction before we are prepared to move outside our comfort zone. Getting out of stuck usually means moving outside our comfort zone. Often we numb uncomfortable feelings down with working too hard, blocking our feelings, negating our experiences or just the odd glass or 6 of wine.  Any and all distractions can be useful to keep ourselves from actually seeing what in our life is not working. Letting yourself feel dissatisfied is a core component of shifting from here to there.

V: is for Vision. We need to have a vision of where we want to go. Often I hear people say they have no idea of what they want. This is actually not true. It is just clouded too much to see. Often we may not know what it looks like but we do know how it could feel. Once we start to explore our dissatisfaction small glimmers of what could be start to emerge. It is true that sometimes it is just impossible to see what could be, often because if we were shown we would just not believe we could do it. Letting yourself know what you know, no matter how fleeting, and owning it is a start. Be brave and write it down. No one has to see it but you!  

F: we need to define what the first steps toward our goal is. Without taking steps, ie action in the outer world, nothing will happen. How many ‘gonna’ stories have we all listened to –  and created. These are fine fantasies however they will not create reality (‘Secret’ or not) without solid steps. Sometimes even taking the so called wrong step will take us in the right direction. Take a step that feels right and then evaluate. Try using your senses, not necessarily your head. It can create too many a limiting stories.

Remember this equation. D X V X F > R  Your Dissatisfaction multiplied by your Vision multiplied by those First steps must be greater than your Resistance.

So do not be afraid to feel your Dissatisfaction.

Nor stop yourself from dreaming your Vision.

And make sure you try something, anything as a First step.

And you will shift your Resistance.

I ask you : How can you apply this to change something in your life that you have been struggling with?

May 1st, 2011

The clinic has been so busy lately, I once again have been a little remiss in keeping this up to date…..

Here is my aticle from this months ezine, i hope you enjoy it.

Feeling Stuck and Disconnected? Try these Strategies for Whole-Hearted Living

by Gay Landeta

The human brain has long mystified science by defying all the usual medical mechanical understandings. Finally, now, after years of observation and experimentation we are beginning to unearth its workings.

Early work identified the brain as consisting of two sides, the right and left brain, with the creative processes attributed to the right and the more logical and rational processes delegated to the left lobes. The right and left brain theory is one that most of us have heard however the model now emerging, as a result of the latest research, is of a much more complex and holographic brain. 

The latest findings in the field of neural plasticity show a multi-faceted construction that is capable of growing and changing during our entire lifetime. This ability to grow and change gives enormous hope to anyone suffering from brain injury of any type or, more importantly, for anyone who just wants to use their brain more effectively. However, this ability to change is also our undoing because it appears our brain records new learning, quite indiscriminately, indelibly into our neural links.

It really does seem that the old adage use it or lose it is absolutely true, in every way! So how can we develop a better ability to use the skills our brain offers us? And how can we lose that which we no longer want or need? Read the rest of this entry »