The trouble is with this life trap running we actually can’t see that what we expect is a little over the top. Or a lot!

If you are recognising yourself here’s a way to start to undo this pattern and manage an unrelenting to-do list:

1. Go through your list and give each item a stress score out of 10 with 10 being major meltdown material. Now, looking at the jobs that are over 5/10 stress – can you break any of them down into smaller jobs to cut down the stress?

2. Try to keep all jobs in a day under 5/10. Make sure that when you look at the day – from a time perspective – it still stays under 5/10 stress for you.

3. Schedule in no more than one item over 5/10 stress in a day. If you suffer from anxiety this is really important – those items over 5/10 are often the source of anxiety and panic.

4. Check out your day and then cut your jobs by half. Like packing for a holiday – we all know how hard that is but it does leave room for new purchases. This will leave room for those unexpected happenings or maybe even stopping to eat lunch!

5. Keep this up for several weeks before upping the ante. None of the “yup, I can do that now, let’s do more” during the second week of this…. not only does it takes about 6 weeks to learn a new habit (the habit of reasonableness here!) but there can be other lifetraps fueling this need to keep on doing, for example fear of rejection or not pleasing others.

Is Laser Mentoring for you?

This program is for you if you have participated in the Marketing with Heart or Business Mentoring Program and want ongoing external support to keep you and your buisness growing.

Perhaps you have found that going it alone is just not producing the results you know you could be. You find yourself procrastinating, having difficulty focusing or just don’t know where to start. You need someone to help you prioritise and stay on track.

Maybe you have some great ideas but you need to get clarity on how to make them happen. You want someone to bounce ideas off, help you clarify any pitfalls and identify your next steps and you want it to remain completely confidential. You need someone trustworthy who is 100% for your success.

Perhaps you are looking for new ideas and you are concerned your business may be stagnating. You just get more creative talking to someone else. You need someone who knows you and your business and who talks the same language.

Or maybe your business is already in success mode but you know you can take it higher. You want long term support to keep you on your toes, you need someone you can work with to develop strategies and to hold your feet to the fire.

Why would you need it?

Entrepreneurs are renowned for being self sufficient and working things out on their own. Trouble is, like in any facet of our life, we just don’t know what we don’t know. And like in the rest of our life, this not knowing can hold us back from amazing results. Having someone who can fill in the gaps or help you identify the missing links is fundamental to long term success and growth.

In addition, working on your own can be very isolating. Partners or friends can be great, but we don’t want to rely on them for our business success. Having an external mentor who is committed to your success means that you have access to a whole different perspetive on your work.

Once you have found something that works you may as well stick to it! The Marketing with Heart Fast Track Program is just a great way of operating. If enables you to ethically and authentically offer your services to the world. The challenge is staying on track with it. You need someone who can keep reminding you of the foundations, keep you congruent with your values and help you to keep getting it right.

This program will suit you if you want ongoing support to stay on track to where you want your business to go.

What will Laser Mentoring do for you?

You will have someone to keep you accountable for your actions and to challenge you to grow, personally and professionally.Growing is always easier with support along the way. In addition to business strategies you have the transformative support of kinesiology at your call.

You will know you have someone you can talk to who understand the issues your business is facing. You will have already completed a business mentoring program with me, that means I already understand where your business is and where you want it to go. In addition, I know your personal ‘holes in the road’ and can help you avoid or heal them.

You don’t have to learn another new way of thinking. There is already so much on a business owners head, adding in learning new ways of thinking and doing when the old ways aren’t broken is just a waste of energy.  We already talk the same language.

Lastly, there is a reason that Olympic Athletes have a coach. Without someone to report to, challenge us and help us to find our blind spots we have no chance at the Gold.

In this program you will be supported as you continue to grow your business. Interested?

If you have worked with me call me! 0418 795 135.

or email me create@gaylandeta.com.au

If you haven’t then call me (or email me) anyway and get your free strategy session. We can have a chat and see if we are a match. If we are, I have several options that will give you the foundations you need to participate in this program and get the results you deserve.

I look forward to hearing from you!

I love this guy. I often get my clients to write out a list of their top fixer-uppers – especially including the chocolate! I know that while yoga and meditation and Brain Gym and kinesiology, etc, etc are all often amazing things to change my moment by moment existence sometimes I just want Reeces Peanut Butter Cups! If you get what I mean then have a look at Peter Shallard – the Shrink for Entrepreneurs – blog post :

What to do when Problem Solving and Positivity doesn’t work

His blog is worth subscribing to.

Enjoy!

Gay

If your to-do list goes on for pages or is impossible to manage you may be coping with a ‘lifetrap’ of ‘unrelenting standards’. Lifetraps are ways we, as children, learn to cope with the interactions around us. They were necessary then but can become very limiting as we grow. There are 18 of them all together (see below for more info) but the that one might be a cause of that un-ending To Do list is ‘Unrelenting Standards’.

Copyright © 2010 Gay Landeta. All Rights Reserved. This article may not be used without the prior written consent from the author. See below for more details…

DO YOU WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this text copy in its entirety:

I am back from holidays and, as usual, there is so much admin catch-up to do while feeling just a tad lagged and distracted. I put into place a timed process that is a great way to stay focused and get stuff done for when a limited attention span is an issue. It helps to engage the thinking processes so paying attention happens naturally. I thought I would share it….

Start by listing the jobs to be done, eg today mine look like:

catch up pile
finalise BAS
sort out spare room stuff
clear emails
finalise client records
blog

then add 10 / 20 / 30 after each one. It will now look like:

catch up pile 10 / 20 / 30
finalise BAS 10 / 20 / 30
sort out spare room stuff 10 / 20 / 30
clear emails 10 / 20 / 30
finalise client records 10 / 20 / 30
blog 10 / 20 / 30

Now just do each item in order for 10 minutes, then back to the top of the list to do each item for 20 minutes, then back again to the top of the list to do each item for 30 minutes. Cross off each time code as you get to them ie my list looks like this right now:

catch up pile 10 / 20 / 30
finalise BAS 10 / 20 / 30
sort out spare room stuff 10 / 20 / 30
clear emails 10 / 20 / 30
finalise client records 10 / 20 / 30
blog 10 / 20 / 30

And, if you get an item done before the time is up then you can just cross off the whole item and move on!

This is a great way to work through an overwhelming list… I think this months ezine will be on this and other ways to handle overwhelm. If you are not yet signed up go to http://gaylandeta.com.au/sign-up/ to do so.

Here’s to getting stuff done!

Gay

.

I have a confession to make, I haven’t been following what I know. It is so irritating when you get that – ‘yup, i shoulda…’ feeling!

The dreaded black hole of time sucked me in. You know the one, way to much to do, technology issues to deal with and just STUFF!

In the end with my unexpected but wonderful move to my own premises last year and all that entailed I have not been following my own marketing advice. Outcome? An unreliable number of people for my next Marketing with Heart workshop =(

Oh well, just another example to me of how powerful – and essential – the program is!

Last session I discussed this with my current group and committed to take myself through the program again. I do it most years and often double whatever area I focus on ….. so I am excited to start! Without it I could not do the work I love with my clients!

Don’t dja love those reminders from the Team?

See yah,

Gay

I was discussing prioritising her busy work today with a client and we came up with a simple visual for us more easily distracted folk…

She has tried the more usual managerial methods of ***’s, numbering and even the grid urgent/important, not urgent/ important, urgent/ not important and not urgent/not important to little effect.

We discussed the old story about rocks, pebbles, sand and water. For those who haven’t come across it here it is:

Imagine a container in front of you. Now fill it with rocks. Is it full? Maybe. It does seem so but try fitting in some pebbles.

Sure enough you can get quite a few in there as well. NOW is it full? Yes, it seems so. What about if you add some sand to the container?

Sure enough there is a bit more room. Must be full now. No! Still room for some water.

But what happens if you try to work in the reverse and fill up the container with water and sand first – you probably won’t get many pebbles or rocks in at all.

In this story the water and sand signify the little things that fill our time up while the rocks and pebbles signify the  big important stuff of life. And the moral of the story is obviously if you always try to fit in the water and sand first, there will never be room for the pebbles and rocks.

What a great visual that is, I can almost feel that container and how much I could fill it with each of those substances.

How about instead of trying to determine if a task was important, urgent, not important, not urgent (all the nuances of that make my brain hurt…) or even trying to figure out if it is a 1, 2 or 3, or even a *, ** or ******* we just  assigned a R, P, or S to it.

We thought it was brilliant. I immediately reassigned my to-do list as Rock things, Pebble things and Sand stuff. I left out the water. It happens anyway.

And it felt immediately easier.

Try it! Let me know what you think!

That’s it for now…

Cheers, Gay

This email came from my Action Plan Coach Colleague and friend Geoff Kelly, I think it sets a perfect note at this time of year when we are reflecting on the past and beginning to be ready for the new and thought you might enjoy it!

I wish you a wonderful and refreshing holiday break and an joyous and abundant New Year!

Warmest regards,

Gay

With Gratitude and Best Wishes…

About 10 years ago I heard some words that changed my life from Canadian achievement scholar and expert Bob Proctor:

“When you set goals, don’t worry so much that you’ll need to live up to them. Focus on setting goals that are worthy of you. Make them goals you would give your life for…because whatever you are doing now, you are expending your life on it.”

I find it helpful to collect and reflect on the wisdom of people who have achieved much in life. I’ve attached a brief selection of these on the next few pages, as you might enjoy reflecting on them too as you prepare for next year. These are people and words that have changed lives and changed history. If we reflect and act on their wisdom, we can expect no less of ourselves. I hope you and your family have a safe and happy Christmas and New Year, and that you make 2010 your most fabulous year yet. I’ll look forward to sharing that journey.
Best wishes
Geoff Kelly

“If you want to know your past – look into your present conditions. If you want to know your future – look into
your present actions.”
Chinese Proverb

“Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world.”
Albert Einstein, 1879-1955, Physicist

“Treat people as if they were what they ought to be, and you help them to become what they are capable of
being.”
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe 1749-1832, German Poet and Novelist

“You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.”
Martin Luther King, Jr., 1929-1968, Civil Rights Leader

“You are what you repeatedly do. Excellence is not an event – it is a habit.”
Aristotle, 384-322 BC, Greek Philosopher and Scientist

“Let us become the change we seek in this world.”
Mohandas Gandhi

“What the mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve.”
Napoleon Hill, Author of Think and Grow Rich

“The first step to becoming is to will it.”
Mother Teresa

“Start by doing what’s necessary, then what’s possible, and suddenly you are doing the impossible.”
St. Francis of Assisi 1181-1226, Founder of the Franciscan Order

“Concentrate all your thoughts upon the work at hand. The sun’s rays do not burn until brought to a focus.”
Alexander Graham Bell, 1847-1922, Inventor

“It is no use saying, “We are doing our best.” You have got to succeed in doing what is necessary.”
Winston Churchill, British statesman

“The most difficult thing is the decision to act; the rest is merely tenacity. The fears are paper tigers. You can do
anything you decide to do.”
Amelia Earhart, Aviator

“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never
forget how you made them feel.”
Maya Angelou, Poet

“We must have perseverance and above all confidence in ourselves. We must believe that we are gifted for
something and that this thing must be attained.”
Marie Curie, Physicist

“The most powerful weapon on earth is the human soul on fire.”
Ferdinand Foch, Military strategist

Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to
lose. You are naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.”
Steve Jobs, CEO Apple Computers

What I will do to make 2010 my best year ever:
__________________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________________________________

And if you want to subscribe to his newsletter, Leading Minds, the online newsletter for leaders who want others to support their ideas simply go to http://www.kellystrategicinfluence.com.au and enter your name and email address in the subscription box.

Here is June’s ezine article – if you are struggling with a thousand roles in your life (and who in this day and age isn’t?) this article may give you a fresh perspective and a useful way to step out of them. Once you are out of them you can see more clearly, make better decisions in your work and in your life and gain some peace and clarity….

*******************************

Roles – Are yours holding you back?

By Gay Landeta

We all have many facets to our life, and these facets, the roles we take in day to day life, often create conflict and frustration. We start to feel trapped and exhausted rushing around as parent, corporate lawyer, yoga student, cook, money manager, child …. plus a thousand more in a day.

It is easy to get lost in these roles, to believe we are them, and that we must do them and excel in them to be worthwhile. Our self esteem often hangs off them.

We believe so strongly in the importance of roles that we do our best to ensure our children have all they need to create their roles in the belief that will ensure their happiness. And if they don’t we worry about them. And they worry about themselves.

In fact we can get so caught in the importance of our roles that we worry that if we stop playing a role the world will fall apart. That these roles are, in fact, essential to life and to our very being.

But, what if that’s not true? What if our true nature does not consider our roles as important as we do. Ouch, most ego’s will react to that one!

Think about it though, how many people we hear of who have their whole life explode around them and have their roles taken away by some random action in the world? Some people stay stuck in their ex-role and stuck in their ex-life. Others deal with it, painful as it may be, and then grow stronger and more inspirational to others.

Often it is their ability to detach from that role, to realise they are more than that role, that their core self, their true being has remained unaltered by any of the external events, that determines the level of joy in their post apocalyptic life.

And, while most of us are fortunate not to have to experience something as dramatic as that we all experience the kids leaving home, loosing a job, the death of a loved one. And at these times, part of what we need to deal with is a change in identity, in a role we are playing in our life.

The Buddhists have a core teaching about the concept of impermanence, that everything is temporary, including our human incarnation, and that our attachments, including the faulty belief of permanence, is the source of all suffering.

In theory that’s all well and good, but to bring these concepts into our day to day life can often feel very scary.

Our roles have taken on such importance in our life that it actually can feel like we could die or worse if we stop doing what we are doing.

But guess what, we don’t have to stop doing stuff or even let go of our roles, our goals or our life to let go of the suffering and enjoy life more – we just need to remember that there is something else at our core and that is who we truly are.

Our roles, our life, even our physical incarnation are just tools for our true self to use in the world, to help us to learn our lessons and enjoy our planet! We need to anchor to our center and allow our roles to just be something we choose to do. Not have to do. We can experience and stay connected to our life, our loves and joys, even our disappointments without feeling they are us.

As we learn to detach but stay connected we learn to live life more joyfully with less suffering. Our many roles clash less and clarity about our future emerges at the right time. Life becomes more graceful, even in the rush!

This month, sit with the concept of impermanence and remember that we are all more than we appear to be. And see if it opens doors for you.

Enjoy the Process!

==========================================

This Month’s Resolve : To remember that our roles are just roles, not who we truly are.

==========================================

Booster of the Month :

MEDITATION ON THE TRUE SELF

This meditation forms part of the teachings of Roberto Assigioli and is used, in part, in Transformational Kinesiology to help clear unhealthy identifications with our roles. While it is particularly effective within a balance where the blocks are cleared prior to the meditation the usefulness of regular quiet contemplation cannot be underestimated.

Find a quiet place where you will be undisturbed for a period of time. Five minutes is a good start although you may choose to meditate longer.

Sit or lie comfortably, And become aware of your body, just notice it in a neutral way, without trying to change, all the physical sensations you have, any aches or pains or discomfort. Be aware of the clothes on your skin, the air on your face, your feet on the ground. Once you have done this for long enough move to the next step.

Now become aware of your feelings, notice what you are feeling right now. Which feelings are predominate in your life right now, both the positive and the negative. Don’t judge, just view them and notice them.

Next become aware of your desires, impartially, as before, notice the desires that take turns motivating your life.

That you have desires but that these, too, are changeable and often contradictory.

Then observe the world of your thoughts, watch as one thought emerges and takes over from the previous one. If you think you are not having any thoughts this too is a thought. Watch your stream of consciousness; memories, opinions, nonsense, arguments, images flow by.

Finally dismiss this realm also from your observation and become the observer, the one who has been watching your thoughts, feelings, desires and sensations. Who is it that has been observing these realms? It is not the same object as the realm experiencing the sensations, the thoughts, the feelings or desires. It is not an image or a thought, it is your SELF, your essence, that has been observing but is distinct from all of them. “I am the SELF, a centre of pure self-consciousness”. Sit with this realisation for about 2 minutes.

Roberto Assigioli’s original version adds the words :
“I have a body but I am not my body.
I have feelings but I am not my feelings,
I have desires but I am not my desires,
I have a mind but I am not my mind.
I am a centre of pure self consciousness, capable of mastering, directing and using all my psychological processes and my physical body.”

I find these words a solid verbal reminder that I can choose to be the observer and not my thoughts, feelings or the emotions that are attached to any of my roles.

Enjoy the release!