Gay Landeta
We each have many roles, but these often create conflict and frustration. We can start to feel trapped. We may become exhausted rushing around, for example, as parent, corporate lawyer, yoga student, cook, money manager and daughter …. plus many more.
As human beings we believe so strongly in the importance of our roles that we teach our children that they need a role in life to be happy. If they don’t create one for themselves we can worry about them – and they often accept our indoctrination and worry about themselves. What they should have or be by, for example, age 21 or 28 or whatever. In fact we humans tend to get so caught in the importance of our roles that we can start to believe that once we stop playing a role our world will fall apart.
We become lost in our roles, believe that they define us and then start to believe that to be of value we must excel at at least some of them. Our self esteem and self worth hangs by the threads of our roles, a perilous existence!
But what if our roles are just roles that we play and are secondary in importance to who we truly are.
What if what we do doesn’t really matter that much in the biggest scheme of things – OW! Most ego’s will react to that one! But think about it, how many people do we hear of who have their whole life explode around them, often through illness or accident, and need to let go of their roles. Those people will very often say how that event changed their life for the better, even if it was incredibly painful.
And then think about those you many know who have clung onto an ex-role and, as a result is stuck in their ex-life.
Dealing with the ‘ex-ness” of it, and letting it go, painful as it may be, allows us to become stronger and more inspirational to others. Learning to detach from the limitations of our roles and realising that we are always more than any role, allows our authentic self emerge, and that Being is unaltered by any external event. Anchoring into that Being allows us to move into the joy and wisdom that can be seen on the ‘other side’ of those major events.
We will all experience major change, most of us luckily escape the explosions but we will all experience the kids leaving home, loosing a job, the death of a loved one. And at those times, as we grieve, it is important to realise some grief lies around the loss of or change in identity, i.e. one of our roles. Our Being has not changed.
The Buddhists have a core teaching about the concept of impermanence, that everything is temporary, including our human incarnation, and that our attachments, including the faulty belief of permanence, is the source of all suffering. Many resonate with this teaching but bringing this concept into day to day life takes courage because our roles have taken on such importance. Letting go of the need to be our roles can feel almost like annihilation. A small step is just realising that there is more to life and who we are than the roles we play. We can then start to anchor into Beingness.
Our roles, our life, even our physical incarnation are just tools for our True Self to use in the world, to help us to learn our lessons and enjoy our planet! We need to anchor to our center and allow our roles to become something we choose to do. Not have to do. We can experience and stay connected to our life, our loves and joys, even our disappointments without feeling they are us.
As we learn to detach but stay connected we learn to live life more joyfully with less suffering. Our many roles clash less and clarity about our future emerges at the right time.
Life becomes more graceful, even in the rush!
Sit with the concept of impermanence and remember that we are all more than we appear to be. And see if it opens doors for you.
Enjoy the Process & Create the Life You Want to Live.
This Month resolve to remember that our roles are just roles, not who we Truly Are.
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