Holiday times … lots of fun for many, but oh so difficult for others, often because of complicated celebration arrangements or a breakdown of communication with friends or family.
In these busy times it is hard to have the space to deal with difficult emotions so instead we often just put them out of our mind. Then along comes a holiday with the invitations and expectations and everything comes up, the intensity often taking us by surprise. Often there is a particular relationship at the core of our pain and we wonder if it is really worth it? Do we really want to bother? This calls to mind a dear friend of mine’s re-jig of a quote by Patti Smith about literature ‘magnifying your spirit’.
My friends re-jig was about ‘relationships expanding your spirit’ and her question is “Does this relationship expand your spirit?”. I though it was a wonderful one to ask ourselves about the tricky people in our lives. Expanding our spirit is about growing, becoming a better person, feeling light and free.
Perhaps someone challenges you. Perhaps you have to learn new ways to communicate to build a relationship with them, expand your compassionate heart to accept them for who they are and to accept parts of yourself that are less than attractive. You may not feel light and free but the gifts they are teaching you will help you connect more deeply with who you truly are which will, in turn help you become lighter and more free. These are truly our Zen Masters, helping us to enlightenment.
Other times those that challenge us just make us smaller. Perhaps if we were ‘a better person’ we could grow but we can’t and so we beat ourselves up. Therein lies the problem! These people are perhaps not expanding our soul. Maybe we just need to bless them and let them go, at least for the moment, giving ourself the opportunity to regroup, to lighten up and expand again.
Perhaps we can re-enter a relationship with them in the future but we need to, at the very least, develop better tools to maintain ourself in our centre while we engage in that relationship. If we can’t, and if we and the other person just cannot come together perhaps it is time to learn the art of letting go with love.
If we can do that there is forgiveness in even the most difficult of
relationships. And in that forgiveness expansion.
I wish you a holiday experience that brings you peace and joy and love. And a beautiful and amazing 2017.
Copyright © 2016 Gay Landeta Create the Life You Want To Live. All Rights Reserved. This article may not be used without the prior written consent from the author.