|Anyone noticing the crazy energy around lately? I thought you might like a little heads up to what could be fuelling some of it. Insights into the source of our pain can often help us shift energy more quickly.|
We had a powerful full moon in August (18th) that included a partial eclipse. Full moons themselves throw light on dark and hidden aspects which is magnified when combined with an eclipse. While this was not a full eclipse, many astrologers considered the energy it evoked was significant enough to say it was the beginning of the eclipse season. By that they mean a cycle of lots of high energy, new discoveries and important shifts in consciousness and of course the resultant, often challenging changes. 🙂
I thought you might like to read this excellent article (below) on what to expect in an eclipse as not only are we in an eclipse season. but we have two more coming up in the next few weeks; the New Moon Solar Eclipse on the 1st and then the Full Moon Pisces Eclipse on the 16th.
And, just to add to this Mercury goes retrograde August 30th till September 22nd. Mercury is all about communications and reviewing the past (retrograde means the planet is moving backwards). Generally with that energy around decisions or big changes are best left till she goes forward again and it’s always a good idea to back up your computers. Mercury retrograde is a time that communication can be complicated so, combined with the eclipses, September should be an interesting month.
Go with the flow and embrace the positive insights you receive. As we just entered Virgo (August 23 – September 22) it may be wise to beware of the critical perfectionist inner Virgo – allow her to help you discern what is right – not beat yourself up with what is wrong!
I hope you have a good month and are enjoying beautiful weather where ever you are.
Have a great weekend!
How hard is it when things don’t go according to plan? Especially if you are a perfectionist, it can be incredibly hard to cope with changes that don’t fit the ˜perfect’ picture. Learning to reframe is a great way to change that.
I know, perfectionism is one of my monkeys on my back! Not to mention the control issues that come along with it. Letting go into the perfectly imperfectness of life has been one of my biggest challenges and, as I have settle into it more and more graciously, I have also settled more easily into not knowing and allowing myself to be organised by the universe.
That doesn’t mean I don’t have the odd tantrum – moving from Highgate Hill on top of the home move did trigger such an event that is for sure!But these days I process the frustration and then let it go much more quickly – which makes me feel much less foolish when the perfect unfolding of the new and unplanned becomes obvious.
What causes us to think we can have everything and should know it all?We develop this mistaken belief in response to societies in-put into our perspective.
Everywhere we look, especially on social media, we see the highlights ofWe see people excelling and living the dream as we are living our ordinary existence. We forget that we are looking at others highlights and feel inadequate and wonder what we are doing wrong. We start to believe if only we try harder we can have it all.
This leads to enormous pain, especially when things don’t go according to plan, like when we are sure about something that doesn’t work out.Or we get so committed to a path that becomes too challenging to continue or we just don’t know what the heck we want.
Changes such as this can make us doubt ourself and and the whole purpose of making plans – why bother when they just fall apart?In fact often it is in the falling apart and unknown that a new and more exciting direction emerges and being able to joyfully step into it is the difference between a life of happiness and one of misery and pain.
The ability to reframe is a great tool to use to joyfully step up no matter what the situation.Perfecting the process of reframing means you can let go a little bit more of that perfectionist streak because you can reframe anything into a positive and perfect experience. This is not becoming a Pollyanna or a way to ignore or negate a learning situation, but a useful way to integrate those more challenging learning times and leave the pain in the past.
A reframe takes an experience, whether it is an event or an emotion or thought, and changing the perspective.Reframing is not pretending it didn’t happen or making it into something it wasn’t but it is looking at the situation from different viewpoint. Done well, it can change memories and our experiences into more positive experiences which will in turnÂ increase our self esteem and self regard.
How to Reframe?
This is best done in a written form so you can re-read your reframed experience and override the old memories.Research shows it is best approached in 2 – 3 minute bursts to stay positive and not get bogged in the old thoughts. For example I did this on my finances a number of years ago. I realised one day that I had definite perspective of lack – not abundance. Yes, it was an actual experience however I was enmeshed in a even worse negative perspective.
I wrote out my experience with money with all its attendant beliefs.Some that emerged were interesting, such as being bad with money and being afraid I would end up with nothing just struggling to survive. As I spent time re-writing my experiences I saw that in fact I was incredibly good with money especially to accomplish all I had and that the life I had created actually gave me enormous abundance in many, many other areas.
As I re-read and practiced this new perspective it gradually became my actually viewpoint.As it did my income and abundance automatically transformed to match it. I still don’t earn the big bikkies but I truly don’t lack in anything. I feel incredibly lucky in my life and make financial choices that support me but don’t limit me.
You can do this same process with anything, a partner, a childhood, redundancy, anything!Of course you don’t do this to make something that is unhealthy or toxic OK – but once something is done there is no need to hold onto old pain.
There is something useful or positive in everything.For example living on little made me very resourceful, it developed my ability to cook with whatever was around (which I love doing!) and repurpose anything which opened up a whole new aspect of my creativity. This process is a very empowering way to change your life.
Start with something easy and play with the process and feel free to get in touch if you are stuck or need a bit of support.And do feel free to share – I love to hear a good re-frame!
Copyright 2016 Gay Landeta This article has been written with the intent of helping you to create the life you want to live. All right reserved.
BTW, If you haven’t down loaded my free ebook you may like to do that. I also developed my on-line programs to help you figure this stuff out so you can learn to let go and create a life you love. To have a look click here.
Many people feel deeply the need to live their purpose, they want to discover what they are here for and then live it. And by living it they usually mean to make their living out of it.
Some people know their purpose from early on and create a pathway to follow with perfect trust. But for many of us it is a more complicated journey. Firstly we may not know what that something is, secondly, even if we do know we also need to earn money, perhaps support a family or a mortgage so we can’t just do what we want to.
Being caught between the need to make money to live and the desire to find and follow a dream can lead to terrible feelings of frustration and disheartenment. But in fact their are many ways to uncover your purpose and live your vocation without sacrificing everything.
Some of us take the journey process, as I did. I started training in counselling and kinesiology to improve my parenting skills and support my children. My work evolved into volunteer work before it became a fully fledged practice 20 years ago. When I decided to do a degree to support my practice I fell back on my previous career in publishing to take the financial stress off. I had to do work around it though, because I felt somehow that I was backtracking, it felt like I was betraying my purpose.
Many people can also feel this stress when confronted by the serious need to create income versus the inner calling to live a life on purpose. Personally, when I finally came to peace with it and could see how perfectly it actually supported me and my work, I manifested the perfect job that not only paid well but also gave me down time in Byron Bay and the space to develop an amazing friendship I would never have had otherwise.
When I think about this dilemma I am often reminded of a photographer friend of mine who chose a more peaceful route. Photography was her passion but she chose to work in hospitality instead of becoming a professional photographer. In that way she could earn good money and, at the end of her shift she was done. She could then devote the rest of her time to taking pictures without worrying about how to sell them or find commercial clients. She chose day time hospitality work and a simple life and so she could follow her dream without any stress. Looking at her life it seemed such a beautiful way to live a life of meaning. She quite enjoyed her day job, no doubt she lightened the day for many people she came across and she could do what she loved the rest of the time without any creative limitations.
This dilemma, of living a life of meaning, of the challenges of having a job, versus a career, versus a hobby, versus a vocation is explored far more eloquently than I ever could in this facebook article by Elizabeth Gilbert. It is well worth reading to find a piece of peace for yourself. I loved it and would love to hear your thoughts. You can also read the original and follow her here.
Question of the day: WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH YOUR LIFE?
Dear Ones –
I get a lot of questions from people who are seeking purpose and meaning in their lives. And I get a lot of questions from people who are seeking career advice — especially about creative careers. And I get a lot of questions from people who are absolutely confused about where their energy is going in life, and why.
For anyone out there who is seeking purpose and meaning and direction in their lives, I thought it might be useful today to define and differentiate four very important words that relate to HOW WE SPEND OUR TIME IN LIFE.
Are you ready?
The four very important words are:
These four words are often interconnected, but they are not interchangeable. Too much of the time, we treat these words like they are synonyms, but they are not. They are gloriously distinct, and should remain gloriously distinct. Each is wonderful and important in its own way. I think a lot of the pain and confusion that people face when they are trying to chart their lives is that they don’t understand the meaning of these words — or the expectations and demands of each word. So me break down what I consider to be the definitions and differences.
1) HOBBY— A hobby is something that you do for pleasure, relaxation, distraction, or mild curiosity. A hobby is something that you do in your spare time. Hobbies can come and go in life — you might try out a hobby for a while, and then move on to something new. I grew up in a family where everyone had hobbies (my grandmother made rag rugs; my grandfather made jewelry out of old spoons; etc) and I have hobbies myself. Gardening was my hobby a few years ago; now it’s Karaoke and collage-making You can tell when something is a hobby because your attitude toward it tends to be relaxed and playful. The stakes are SUPER low with hobbies. Sometimes you might make a bit of money out of your hobby, but that’s not the point — nor does it need to be. Hobbies are important because they remind us that not everything in life has to be about productivity and efficiency and profit and destiny. Hobbies are mellow. This is a wonderful reminder, and the concept should relax you. Hobbies prove that we have spare time — that we are not just slaves to the capitalist machine or to our own ambitions. You don’t NEED a hobby, mind you, but it’s awfully nice to have one. Even the word itself is adorable and non-threatening: HOBBY! What a cute word. Go get one. You have nothing to lose, and it’ll probably make you happier. Also, my grandparents would approve. Back before TV, everyone had hobbies. It’s nice. No big deal.
2) JOB— You may not need a hobby, but you do absolutely need a job. Unless you have a trust fund, or just won the lottery, or somebody is completely supporting you financially…you need a job. Actually, I would argue that even if you DO have a trust fund or a winning lottery ticket or a generous patron, you should still have a job. I believe there is great dignity and honor to be found in having a job. A job is how you look after yourself in the world. I always had a job, or several jobs, back when I was an unpublished, aspiring writer. Even after I’d already published three books, I still kept a regular job, because I never wanted to burden my creativity with the responsibility of paying for my life. Artists often resent having jobs, but I never resented it. Having a job always made me feel powerful and secure and free. It was good to know that I could support myself in the world, and that I would never starve, no matter what happened with my creativity. Now, here’s the most essential thing to understand about a job: IT DOESN’T HAVE TO BE AWESOME. Your job can be boring, it can be a drag, it can even be “beneath you”. Jobs don’t need to be soul-fulfilling. Really, they don’t. I’ve had all kinds of weird and lame jobs; it doesn’t matter You don’t need to love your job; you just need to have a job and do it with respect. Of course, if you absolutely hate your job, by all means look for another one, but try to be philosophical about why you have this job right now. (Some good philosophical reasons for staying in a crappy job right now include: You are taking care of yourself; you are supporting your beloved family; you are saving up for something important; you are paying off debts. The list of reasons to have a job — even a bad job — goes on and on, and honor abides within all those reasons.) Don’t judge yourself about your job and never be a snob about anyone else’s job. We live in a material world and everyone has to do something for money, so just do whatever you have to do, collect your paycheck, and then go live the rest of your life however you want. Your job does not need to be how you define yourself; you can create your own definitions of your purpose and your meaning, pulled from deep within your imagination. A job is vital, but don’t make it YOUR LIFE. It’s not that big a deal. It’s just a job — a very important and also not-at-all important thing.
3) CAREER — A career is different from a job. A job is just a task that you do for money, but a career is something that you build over the years with energy, passion, and commitment. You don’t need to love your job, but I hope to heaven that you love your career — or else you’re in the wrong career, and it would be better for you to quit that career and just go find yourself a job, or a different career. Careers are best done with excitement. Careers are huge investments. Careers require ambition, strategy, and hustle. Your career is a relationship with the world. I used to have jobs, but now I have a career. My career is: AUTHOR. That means: Professional Writer. When I think about my work in terms of my career, I need to make sure that I’m building good relationships in the publishing world, and making smart decisions, and managing myself well within a realm that is more public than private. I need to pay attention to what critics are saying about my work, and how my books are selling, and how well I’m meeting my deadlines. I need to tend to my career with respect and regard, or else I will lose it. I need to honor my contracts and my contacts. When I make decisions about my life, I need to think about whether this would be good or bad for my career. If I win an award, that’s good for my career. If I get caught in a hotel room with a pile of cocaine and six exotic dancers, that’s bad for my career. (Actually, now that I think about it, maybe that would be AWESOME for my career! Gotta look into that! HA!) Let me make something very clear about careers: A career is a good thing to have if you really want one, but YOU DO NOT NEED TO HAVE A CAREER. There is absolutely nothing wrong with going through your entire life having jobs, and enjoying your hobbies, and pursuing your vocation, but never having “a career”. A career is not for everyone. A career is a choice. But if you do make that choice, make sure that you really care about your career. Otherwise, it’s just an exhausting marathon, for no reason. I really care about my career, but it’s not the most important thing in my life. Not even close. The most important thing in my life is my….
4) VOCATION — The word “vocation” comes to us from the Latin verb “vocare” — meaning “to call”. Your vocation is your calling. Your vocation is a summons that comes directly from the universe, and is communicated through the yearnings of your soul. While your career is about a relationship between you and the world; your vocation is about the relationship between you and God. Vocation is a private vow. Your career is dependent upon other people, but your vocation belongs only to you. You can get fired from your career, but you can never get fired from your vocation. Writing was my vocation long before I was lucky enough to get the career of an “author” — and writing will always be my vocation, whether my career as an author keeps working out or not. This is why I can approach my career with a certain sense of calm — because I know that, while I obviously care about career, I am not defined by it. When I consider my writing in terms of my career, I have to care what the world thinks about me. But when I consider my writing in terms of my vocation, I TRULY DO NOT GIVE A FUCK WHAT THE WORLD THINKS ABOUT ME. My career is dependent upon others; my vocation is entirely my own. The entire publishing world could vanish, and books could become obsolete, and I would still be a writer — because that’s my vocation. That’s my deal with God. You do not need to make money from your vocation in order for it to have meaning. Writing had meaning for me LONG before you ever heard of me, and long before anyone else wanted me to do it. Vocation has nothing to do with money, with career, with status, with ambition. I often see people corrode their vocation by insisting that it become a career — and then making career decisions that destroy their vocation. (Amy Winehouse’s career destroyed her vocation, for instance.) The day that I feel my career is destroying my vocation, I will quit my career and go get a job, so that I can protect my vocation. But I will never quit my vocation. Nobody even needs to know about your vocation, in order for it to have meaning. Your vocation is holy because it has nothing to do with anyone else. Your vocation can be anything that brings you to life and makes you feel like your soul is animated by purpose. Tending to your marriage can be your vocation. Raising your children can be your vocation. Teaching people how to take care of their health can be your vocation. Visiting your elderly neighbors can be your vocation. I have a friend who finds his vocation in picking up garbage off the streets wherever he goes; this is his gesture of love toward his fellow man. Searching for light and peace and meaning can be your vocation. Forgiveness can be your vocation. Brother Lawrence was a 17th century monk who worked his whole life washing dishes in a monastery (because washing dishes was his JOB) but his vocation was to see God in everything and everyone, and that is why he radiated grace. (Awesome vocation, by the way. People came from all over the world to watch Brother Lawrence wash dishes, because of the way he radiated divine love in every act. THAT’S vocation.) I admire the Roman Catholic Church for understanding the sanctity of vocation, and for teaching that the purest human vocation is LOVE. A vocation is the highest expression of your human purpose, and therefore you must approach it with deepest reverence. You can be called to your vocation by what you love (for instance: I love writing), or you can be called to your vocation by what you hate (for instance: I know people who dedicate themselves to social justice because of their hatred for violence and inequality.) If you don’t have a vocation and you long for one, you can pray for one. You can ask the universe with humility to lead you to your vocation — but then you must pay VERY close attention to the clues and signs that point you toward your vocation. Don’t just pray and wait. Instead, pray and SEEK. Everyone wants the lightning strike, but the path to your vocation is usually a trail of bread crumbs, instead. Look for clues. No clue is too small; no vocation is insignificant. Don’t be proud; be attentive. What brings your soul to life? What makes you feel like you are not just a meat puppet — not just heard to work hard and pay bills and wait to die? You cannot be lazy or entitled about your vocation, or apathetic, or fatalistic, or calculating. You cannot give up on it, if things don’t “work out” — whatever that even means. You must work closely with your intuition in order to find your highest meaning in life. This is hard work sometimes, but it is divine work, and it is always worth it. (Here’s a possibility, for instance: Searching for your vocation can be your vocation!) You can choose your hobbies, your jobs, or your careers, but you cannot choose you vocation; you can only accept the invitation that has been offered to you, or decline it. You can honor your vocation, or you can neglect it. You can worship it, or you can ignore it. A vocation is offered to you as a sacred gift, and it is yours to care for, or to lose. When you treat your vocation as sacred, you will see your whole life as sacred — and everyone else’s lives, too. When you are careless about your vocation, you will treat your whole life carelessly -— and other people’s lives, too. Your vocation will become clear to you through the act of PAYING ATTENTION to your senses and your soul, and to what in the world causes you to feel love or hate. You will be led to your vocation, though the path is not always obvious. You must participate in its unfolding. Do not fall asleep on this job. Your vocation is hinted at through your talents, tastes, passions, and curiosities. Your vocation is calling you, even when you can’t quite hear it. (“What you are seeking is seeking you” — Rumi.) When you embrace a vocation, and commit yourself to that vocation, your mind becomes a quieter place. When you accept the divine invitation of your vocation, you will become strong. You will know that — as long as you are tending to your vocation — everything will be fine.
My feeling is that people look for purpose in life without understanding these four words: HOBBY, JOB, CAREER, VOCATION. People blend these four concepts, or mistake them, confuse them, or try to have all four at once, or pretend that they are all the same thing. Or people just generally get freaked out and confused, because they haven’t thought these words through, or decided which ones are most important. (Or which ones are most important RIGHT NOW.) People generally want to know, “What am I doing with my life?”, but they don’t slow down long enough to really think about these four different aspects of this question — the four different possibilities for where our time and energy goes. People worry so much about their careers, for instance, that they often forget to pay attention to their vocations. Or people get so seduced by the grandeur of their vocations that they forget to have a job, and so they stop taking care of themselves and their families in the material world…which will only bring suffering. (Remember: Even Brother Lawrence had a job. He was not too proud to wash dishes.) Or people are so busy chasing social status and personal advancement that they forget to make time for the relaxing joy of having a sweet little hobby. And oftentimes people mistake a sweet little hobby for something that they think should be a job, or a career, or a vocation. Don’t try to blend what perhaps doesn’t need to be blended. Don’t mistake a job for a career, or a career for a vocation, or a vocation for a hobby, or a hobby for a job. Be clear about what each one is, and be clear about what can be reasonably expected from each one, and be clear about what is demanded of you with each one.
Here’s another thing I see happening: people get so embarrassed or resentful about their lousy day jobs that they forget to be grateful that they have a job at all — and this causes only more anxiety and confusion, which again, will make them stop paying reverent attention to their vocation, or enjoying their hobbies, or making plans for a career.
We live in a real world that is heavy sometimes with real-life obligations, but we also have souls that deserve care and attention. We can pay attention to our worldly ambitions and pleasures (hobbies, jobs, careers) without neglecting our mystical, otherworldly, beautiful and often impractical vocations. We can pay attention to all of it — but this requires sitting still at times and really thinking things through, with courage and dignity. And it requires an understanding of terms.
The important thing is to be sober and careful and attentive enough to know what you are REALLY talking about when you consider the question, “What am I doing with my life?”
It isn’t easy to answer this question, but understanding and respecting these four different words might be a start.
And when in doubt, at least try SOMETHING. As the wonderful poet David Whyte says: “A wrong-headed but determined direction is better than none at all.”
Good luck out there, brave seekers!
This article was borrowed from facebook with much respect. Buy Elizabeths book. It looks great. 🙂
BTW, If you haven’t down loaded my free ebook you may like to do that. I also developed my on-line programs to help you figure this stuff out so you can feel more comfortable walking in both camps. To have a look click here.
Our comfort zone is a cocoon of easefull-ness that the ego loves to nurture. It is triggered when something unexpected or dis-easeful comes along. At that point we can either take the opportunity to grow or we can retreat more deeply into the perceived safety, and often ignorance, of the zone.
The reality is, despite everything, life, including our carefully made goals and dreams, often doesn’t work out in accordance with even the most well laid of plans. This challenge to our ego will trigger our comfort zone often causing us to make decisions that align with comfort instead of stepping up to our biggest life. In this article I will share how to recognise when your particular comfort zone is triggered and offer tips you can use to step beyond it into all that is possible.
Poet and Spiritual Teacher Mark Nepo considers our plans kindling, that we need them to ignite our fire and that, while they are important, they are actually not our core purpose. Our core purpose is living a life of growth and expansion, a spiritually connected life.
I loved this metaphorical way of looking at a way to live gently in the world – how to connect the commitment of goal setting with the spiritual work of accepting what is. This has been such a huge part of my journey and is so much the journey of many of my clients.
Like many I didn’t really have a plan at school, I skated through and then fell into a job with ‘prospects’ when I graduated. Responding to that I made a plan, started to create a career and save for property but soon realised I hated my job so I took a year off to travel first.
That first summer away was so magical that I gave up all my plans and just started to flow instead. That year became 5 years and ended up bringing me to Australia, buying a house and having babies. I was basically saying yes to everything that was offered. Even my counselling and kinesiology training happened as a response to wanting to be a better parent rather than an intentional career move. My life had no goals and no plans, in fact I actively avoided making any. Everything just happened.
However, without realising it, without intentions I was also without the foundations to flow within the bigger plan of my life. All my learning and decisions were silo’d – solid within themselves but not connected.
When my partner and I decided that it had been great but we were done I realised that those gaps were now stopping me from living a life of choice. If I did not take the time to decide what I really wanted I was destined to be a wanderer – and perhaps end up at a destination I would not be happy in. I needed to take responsibility for my life and choices and become the master of my own destiny.
And so started my journey of intention setting. And then encountering the frustration when
things did not happen as I wanted. My inner control freak tried really hard but, while many goals fell perfectly into place, others (and they always seemed the most important) seemed impossible to achieve.
I wondered if I should go back to what I had assumed was going with the flow but I knew that wouldn’t work. I could now see how my inner control freak had conducted my life and how much I had limited it through confusing the fear of stepping outside my comfort zone with going with the flow.
I could also see that had I followed my original plans I may never have had any of the great adventures of my life. So I realised that I needed to set intentions and create plans within a bigger construct of letting go. Now while this may seem obvious to you, to me it was a revelation. Learning to play with these often conflicting energies, the energy of plans and the energies of flow, became my focus, in my work, on my business and in my life.
Perhaps you, too, may be at a crossroads and wondering how to gather your kindling and ignite your fire? The first step is always self reflection. If you use that time to find out if you are a ‘go with the flow’ type of person or a ‘I have a plan’ kind of person then you may well have uncovered a significant comfort zone – once identified you can use it to help you to step into the bigger part of your life.
The ‘Go with the Flow’ Comfort Zone
If your comfort zone (as opposed to choice) is to ‘go with the flow’ or ‘do what makes you happy’ then you will be happiest when others are happy and may be very uncomfortable charting your own course. You can challenge this by practicing making choices. Even when you are going along with another, make sure you take the time to say “I choose this” and always make sure you are taking action on your choices.
This comfort zone often prefers to avoid choices and follow others thereby avoiding discerning what is their personal Right choice. If this is you then take time to check in if you are taking personal responsibility for what emerges. Often, when we live in this camp, we flow but then can feel anger or regret when things don’t work out our way. We can become blameful that we weren’t supported. Remember that every step is a choice with a consequence – remembering that we are making choices even when we choose to follow others means that there is no one to blame. We choose – or not – and it is what it is. We can then make the choice to change what is.
In this camp we will often stop as soon as things get difficult. We have stories about things not feeling right. Remembering that just because it is difficult does not mean it is wrong, it just might be uncharted territory of growth being encountered. By acknowledging this we can continue to take action, listening to our deep wisdom and changing course as needed instead of ‘in reaction to’.
The ‘I have a plan’ Comfort Zone
If your comfort zone (as opposed to choice) is ‘I have a plan’ or ‘do what you should’ then you may like to examine your goals to see if they are actually what feels right for YOU deep inside. Not for those around you, not for society, but for you. Often when we live in this camp we make plans that align with what seems like a good idea. In doing so we take the risk of waking up one day having created everything we wanted but still feeling unfulfilled and possibly even desperately unhappy.
You can experiment with, instead of relentlessly following a grand plan to the end, taking action mindfully, checking in on how each step feels. Often, in this camp, we barge on determined to make things work despite any uncomfortableness. We can instead start to listen to our uncomfortable feelings. If it feels contracting then it may well be closing us in.
Learning to discern the comfortable uncomfortableness of growth from real pain is especially important for those who live in this camp. Many types of auto-immune illness arise from the overriding of this self knowledge. Learning to listen deeply and stop even though you may have a plan is often part of the life journey of those who live in “I have a plan’ camp.
Both of these journeys require space for inward reflection. A great way to do that is to find some stillness in your life i.e. turn off that phone! And then just sit or write. And see what emerges. Allow yourself to feel what is going on and be curious about what or why it is. Don’t assume you know. Curiosity is our biggest ally in pursuing our own truth. Not trying to solve anything, just being curious about what is. Learning to trust that actually it will be OK. No matter what. And then let go and relax.
I would love to hear your thoughts on this … how do you know you are being stopped by your comfort zone – or conversely when you are pushing on beyond what is right for you? And then how do you take action?
Copyright 2016 Gay Landeta This article has been written with the intent of helping you to create the life you want to live. All right reserved.
BTW, If you haven’t down loaded my free ebook you may like to do that. I also developed my on-line programs to help you figure this stuff out so you can feel more comfortable walking in both camps. To have a look click here.
Use the moon phases to help you focus the energy of expansion and letting go that 2016 brings as it journeys through its number nine year (2+0+1+6=9). Being in a 9 year means that the planet is completing a cycle of growth. This is affecting us all and is magnified if you, too, are in a personal nine year.
To find what year cycle you are in, add your day of birth (e.g. 2+5) to your month of birth (e.g. 1+1) to the year (2+0+1+6). This needs to be reduced to a single digit so then add any double digits together (e.g. 1+8). This will show you what your personal cycle is for 2016.
This same magnification of the 9 energy will be part of your 2016 experience if you are born in the ninth month or on the 9th day. If this is you, take time to notice completions this year as they may help you open to your next cycle of growth. Even if this is not you, you can still work with the energy of the year by taking time to focus on expansion and letting go using the cycles of the moon.
Using the moon to focus your energy…
New moons herald new cycles, they open the way for new opportunities and the ability to manifest our deep desires. Use these times to make plans and intentions for your next cycle. Human beings have loved rituals since time immemorial, you can create your own special time to reconnect each month with your hearts desires with New Moon Wishing. Gather writing materials, candles, music and inspiring fragrances or incense to create a special time for yourself each month. The writing element is important, somehow dreams taken out of our head and committed to paper are much more powerful. And 10 is a good number – although if you are a nine person you might like to use that! : )
Full moons, on the other hand, offer the opportunity to let go of what no longer serves – what is in the way of manifesting what we truly want. You can use these times to reflect on what you need to let go of to take a step closer to your hearts desire. It may be internal processes such as thoughts, habits or behaviours, or external situations or individuals … if you are feeling stuck the full moon may be a good time to feel into what may be holding you back and make the choice to let it go. You can ritualise this through meditation or writing, and commit to change by destroying the piece of paper and actually take the step you must to help you let go and create what you want in your life.
There are heaps of apps around that automatically update you on the phases of the moon or google moon phases to find a simple calendar like this. Make the commitment to change by making a date with yourself to work with the natural cycles of the moon and see what happens. And always follow up on your commitment with action to demonstrate, if only to yourself, that you are determined to make this happen.
Love to hear your thoughts on this and if you are having any trouble making things happen feel free to get in touch!
Happy moon watching. : )
copyright 2016 Gay Landeta. This article has been written with the intent of helping you to create the life you want to live. All right reserved.
This time of year many business owners start to consider how they could grow their business, maybe create some passive income or just get more clients.
I don’t know about you, but I can get excited about opportunities and then overwhelmed by ideas. Finding ways to avoid that is always useful. This process that I am about to share is a really simple but very profound process developed by a psychologist friend who is also an ex-engineer.
This process has no place for grey. This can be a challenging way to think as it can feel limiting, however it does help those of us who tend to start projects without enough thought.
Begin by choosing your priority. To do that …
Imagine you are holding a ball bearing skill game. This one is shaped like a triangle. (i.e. one of those little hand held board games where the goal is to get the little ball bearing into the correct hole.)
In each corner of the triangle there is a hole for a ball bearing.
And each corner of the triangle has a label: time, quality or money.
Choose where you want the ball bearing to land. That is your overall priority at the moment. And you can only choose one.
You then choose projects that comply with that priority, i.e. be timely, be quality or save money – you may need to compromise somewhat on the other aspects.
For example if you decide saving money is the priority you may need to sacrifice some quality and / or some time to achieve your budget.
If it is time then that may mean you need to focus on the speed of the project, so it may cost more or the quality may have to be reduced.
Or if you decide quality is the priority then it may take more time and money than you initially thought.
When you have an idea you can check in again to see if your priority is still the same and what the potential compromises may be. This way you can more clearly decide if this is a step you want to take instead of getting caught in a process that takes more time, costs more money or produces something that is of a lesser quality than you would like.
Copyright © 2016 Create the Life. All Rights Reserved.
How many times have you had a brilliant idea in a peak of excitement, only to find later it seemed to just lead you to one of those trickier learning places you would have rather detoured around?
Or made a decision when feeling a little low only to later regret it?
Both of these situations, feeling high or low on life, are times when we are deeply in our human nature (as opposed to our True Nature).
Our human nature is who we are on this planet. Our personality, our ego, our thoughts and emotions, our physical body; in fact everything we use to interact with others. These are the parts of us that will be no longer visible once we die. Esoterically we can see these parts as the vehicle that we have been given in this life to work with, to learn with and to experience being on the planet Earth with. The driver of our vehicle, often called our Highest Self, or our True Nature, is that intangible aspect within.
Out Higher Self has a voice but can be drowned out by
our thoughts and feelings.
It is an aspect of us that is free of judgement or demands and is often called the still small voice, but, in our busy 21st century life, it is often very hard to hear. Working with this voice, however, listening and responding to its cues, is what many of us choose to do to live our life on Purpose.
So how do we know when we are in alignment with that quiet higher aspect of our-self when we make a decision?
We can allow space in making decisions and become aware of waiting until the fog of the personality lifts before making an the choice. That means neither making a decision when we are ‘up’ nor ‘down’. So how does that look on a day to day basis?
Firstly be aware how you feel when you are making a decision. Sometimes we humans make decisions when we are feeling down or depressed. Sometimes there seems no other way, or doom and gloom predicts only one outcome, or we may make a decision just to get us out of uncomfortable feelings. Be aware though, often when we are down or depressed, many of us loose the ability to hear that quiet still voice. Before making a big decision step back and do some self care. Take some time to be gentle and loving with yourself. Allow the fog to settle and clarity to emerge and if it doesn’t get support from a health practitioner or therapist to help you get back into ‘You’.
Another red herring, and one that can be a little trickier, is the decision made when something feels so exciting and wonderful that we can’t stop ourselves from running with our own brilliance. Think back to a decision made in the height of passion – that turned out not to be the best of ideas. That’s your example! And we all have them.
This doesn’t mean that we should choose not to live our passion, but that we need to be mindful that a passionate place may not be in alignment with anything other than our personalities. Passion is wonderful stuff. Art, music and other amazing human expressions rely on passion to inspire and move us. But it is not necessarily soul inspired. Being passionately inspired by someone’s gorgeous physique could be a case in point!
Clients often tell me about times they have made a decision inspired by passion, for example deciding to move to a new town after meeting the ‘One’ (who wasn’t) or leaving a job for a new brilliant idea (that didn’t work out). Much better to wait until the passion abates and the fog of the personality lifts. This does not necessarily mean just listening to the rational mind. It can scream louder than the passionate one!
Simply, this means waiting until we can hear that quiet still voice and making our decisions in alignment with our Highest Self, our True Nature. The advantage of doing this is that by waiting and making a conscious and clear decision it becomes much easier to take responsibility for the outcome, regardless of that outcome, because we know it was the Right thing to do.
I hope this helps you Create the Life You Want to Live…
Copyright © 2015 Create the Life. All Rights Reserved. This article may not be used without the prior written consent from the author.
Christmas is past – how fast was that? Now, who’s up for a bit of 2015 dreaming?
I wrote a post last year on how to set yourself up for a fantastic and focused 2014 – and had fantastic feedback on it – have a look at it here , the process is timeless.
But maybe, like so many, you are saying that you have no idea of what you want so you don’t know how to start.
Maybe you can think of some New Year Resolutions – but you know from experience that those will fall by the wayside within a few days, most often because they have not got enough substance or enough self knowing behind them.
One way to find out what is going on inside is to do some journalling. It can be quite addictive once you find your voice but again many don’t know how to start. I often recommend Morning Pages from Julia Cameron’s The Artists Way. It is a simple mind dump, done immediately on waking. 20 minutes or 4 pages (you choose) of non-stop writing can help your subconscious thoughts, worries and feelings be heard.
Amazing things can happen, you can discover what is important or not important to you just because you must write without stopping. You can unleash unexpected creativity or a whole new direction and focus. And other times it is just plain boring or mildly embarrassing to see what junk sits in your brain first thing in the morning. 🙂
It is important not to re-read this journaling as it is a dump and does not necessarily hold any great wisdom in and of itself. If, however, you feel you want to I always suggest you leave it for 6 weeks or so as dumping and then leaving space allows the mind to clear and open to new possibilities. And, of course, this is just what you want when you are ready to create some amazing intentions for the future.
However this process doesn’t appeal to everyone, many people prefer a more thoughtful ‘dear diary’ journey but can find, without the non-stop, timed limited process of Morning Pages, that they can get stuck staring at a blank page.
If that is you have a look at this great blog on 30 prompts for journalling. I recently read it and loved it. The author,
Enjoy creating an amazing 2015 however you do it. 🙂
This article was written by Gay Landeta with the intention of helping you to Create the Life you Want to Live! All rights reserved 2014.
The concept of the possibility that our household could contain an additional pet was raised when Garry, a lost fox terrier, stayed overnight a month or so ago. Surprisingly Wing was totally chilled about it. He had no identification and several friends speculated he was to stay however I knew his family was missing him and would track him down, as they did. We did however start to open to that possibility. It was not yet time to look but it was an interesting idea.
(Being 100% present you become open to inspiration and what the universe could be offering you…..)
The actual opening was a rescue cat looking for a home. She was beautiful and reminded us of the late Albert that ruled the house for years. But on feeling into it a cat was not the best option for us – my partner commented a dog would be better than a cat for Miss Wing and so the energy started to flow.
(Start to dream and feel into the offering, does it feel like the course of action you would like to go….)
We got clear about what we wanted; a younger female, similar size as Wing, healthy, with a good nature and some basic training with the overall intention that she would be a good friend to Wing, helping her bond back into the doggie world rather than just to us.
(By clarifying your vision you put your order in…..)
I looked up Pet Rescue, and found a possibility, Teenie, grounding our intention into reality. It turned out she had just been adopted but synchronistically, Caramel, a little Maltese x Shitzu (like Wing) was to arrive in a few days and we could have her right away, without her being advertised.
(By taking action synchronicity can start to flow….)
On Monday I got a picture of Caramel, just arrived in Qld and looking a little worried, from Carrie at the rescue organisation, she looked like a negative exposure of Wing, she was a perfect age, had a sweet temperament and seemed ideal. She was being de-sexed on Tuesday, all going well we could meet and greet on Thursday and have her on Saturday. It was my weekend off and we had nothing on all weekend – it seemed perfect timing.
(Do not attach to the outcome at this point! Let go of control and allow the process its own space….)
Tuesday evening I took a call from Carrie, Caramel was carrying puppies and needed to be in foster care for the next 3 or 4 months. We could still be first on the list then, but that was the end of the adoption road for now.
We had been working very much with ‘if it was meant to be it would be’ but, out of character (or perhaps I should say in the shadow of the eclipse!!!) I had fallen in love with the photo of Caramel. By attaching to that picture and putting meaning on random signs, without realising it, I was trying to orchestrate the process.
I was very disappointed even though I knew, without doubt, the right dog would turn up for us at the right time. And I was a bit annoyed, I had the weekend open and space for her to integrate with us. I knew, if we looked for another, how hard that would be to organise that space later in the the year, but waiting till next year for Caramel seemed wrong for Wing. It felt like it was all falling apart, mostly because I created expectations and attached to the outcome.
We re-affirmed we wanted a friend for Wing and that next year was probably too long. If we were still looking when Caramel was available, she was The One, but otherwise waiting till next year was too long. I had another look on Pet Rescue. It was quite painful seeing all those little faces looking for homes and I doubted my ability to find Wing a good friend.
I saw Lola, put in an expression of interest but she had been promised elsewhere. I created a pet alert to stay on track with our intention and re-affirmed my trust that the right dog would come along.
(As things shift and change re-affirm, change or cancel your intention and take action…)
Friday night, as I was finishing work, Lola’s foster mum rang to say the other lady had not turned up and we could pick up Lola, if we still wanted her, in the morning, at the start of our free weekend. 🙂
(And trust the outcome…..)
You can initiate change in your life by taking some time to reflect on the way you manifest. Notice what holes you tend to fall into – for example is it about expectations and control like me? or a lack of patience or jumping to fast? perhaps you listen to others or don’t check into what you really want? or perhaps you are not open to possibilities?
Wherever your particular holes lie, once you identify them you start to change, so that next time, maybe you will not only miss that hole but you can find a whole new way of being.
Many of us put personal integrity high on our list of values but very often it gets toppled by the demands of day to day living. Every time we don’t carry through something we promise to do we loose just a little bit of faith in ourself. That’s why it feels so bad.
But we also often compound this problem by not doing what we say we will to ourself. Somehow we justify that it is OK to firstly promise ourself something impossible (like never eating chocolate again) and then breaking it the next day.
Of course we do this to try to break old habits or make ourself do something we think we ‘ought to’, but instead we break our integrity with ourself and loose more and more faith that we can carry through what we say we will.
Long term we can become (as Transformational Kinesiology so succinctly puts it) unconscious losers. Ouch.
How to get out of this spiral?
1. Be Careful What You Promise Yourself – i.e. don’t say I won’t eat carbs / I won’t ever have another relationship / I will deliver on this project / I will run 30 minutes every day / etc unless you can 100%, without doubt, do it. Be realistic instead, tell yourself the truth, i.e. I resolve to eat low carb 3 days a week / I choose not to have a another relationship at the moment and just nurture myself / I expect to deliver on this project on x date and will confirm once I know or by x date which ever comes first / I run 3 times a week even if just to the corner and back. You get the drift.
Once you have the habit or commitment in place then you can expand on it, i.e. I run 30 minutes 3 times a week or eat low carbs 5 days a week, Notice it is still a small step. Taking the steps small means that you are more likely to succeed giving yourself more faith in your ability to do what you say you will do. That will keep you on task more and more and you will deliver to yourself (and others) more and more when you say you will.
2. Be Aware of How Much Commitment You Already Have – especially if you are falling into the habit of saying ‘yes’ instead of ‘I would like to but I can’t’ or ‘I don’t know if this is possible – let me get back to you once I am sure’ (and then get back as promised!)
3. Make Amends or Apologise – If you have let yourself or others down be honest and apologise. But make sure you mean it and are ready to carry through the steps above (or whatever it takes for you to do what you say you will). Empty apologies might make us feel better momentarily but they don’t support that faith in ourself that we need to have to really believe in ourself.
4. Don’t Expect So Much of Yourself! Are you expecting too much of yourself? Ask yourself this, would you expect it of a friend? If not drop that level of expectation down. It is unrealistic and will lead to tears!
For some of us this is a lifelong learning 😉 Make the decision today (if you feel you can give it a good go!!!) that you will check in on yourself as much as possible and only commit to what you really believe you can do. And then practice checking in every time before you commit yourself to something.
Love to hear your thoughts on this!